This is the last posting space for the term. By Friday, 4/19/2013, you should copy and paste your Ethnography paper into a discussion posting. This posting may take up multiple posts (since many people will have papers that exceed the character count for one posting space), so do as you have all term, and divide your paper up into multiple posting slots. It is critical that you have paragraph breaks for your paper.
Once your posting is complete, you are required to complete one peer review before the close of Friday, 4/26/2013. You must review the work of a peer who doesn't already have a peer review, so it might make sense to post a message to let others know that you are reviewing someone's work. Writing a message response to a peer that says, "I will review your work, Jim," is a great way to ensure that everyone gets a peer review and that there are no duplicate reviews.
Here are the directions for the peer review. Be sure to follow all directions and paste all of your review into the discussion box(es) once finished.
Peer-Review Discourse Community Ethnography
You should complete multiple reads of your partner’s piece (one or two reads will not cut it).
Copy and paste the posting(s) into a word document.
Number each paragraph and in a separate word document write a once sentence synopsis of each paragraph’s topic and purpose. Leave ample space between so you can write and elaborate further on each paragraph. If a paragraph seems to be going in multiple directions, note the different directions the paragraph takes and explore connections between divergent ideas.
Note key support for each paragraph (sometimes there will be analytical text perpetuating an argument, and other times, there will be narrative text rendering a story with the use of concrete details). Evaluate how well the support/details are implemented. Is there a need for more details to expand the narrative/story or is there a need for more evidence or perhaps analysis of evidence to help deliver a point?
Create a ranking system to identify which paragraphs are most effective and which ones are less effective. Following your discoveries and inferences from your above sections, underscore aspects from each paragraph that need improvement and establish criteria for what works well in paragraphs that are strong and well developed. Look at transitions between different paragraphs and explore ways to improve transitions from one paragraph to the next.
Next, read the paper once or twice more; identify and look for a main point of theme that guides the essay. From your previous analysis, and multiple reads, determine what central claim is being presented. If the piece is presented more in a narrative form, the theme may be implicit rather than explicitly stated. If the piece is analytical or argumentative, the thesis may be more explicit, and may be directly stated.
Come up with at least two questions to help the writer think critically about the direction of the essay. What do you as a reader want to know more about? Where is the piece most effective and why? Which details and part of the essay stand out as most memorable and effective and why? Where does this piece need to be improved? Be specific in your commentary of your peer’s work.
I will be doing the peer review for Cody Brissette.
ReplyDeleteI will be doing the peer review for Bryan Bajamunde
DeleteUnleashed Dance, Large Varsity.
ReplyDeleteThe room is not a typical classroom setting. The floors are light wood with springs underneath to help the dancers when jumping or leaping. Two walls are covered up by mirrors which start from the floor and extend up about six and a half to seven feet. There is marker on the mirrors with names and numbers. One wall, brick wall, has an unstable ballet bar with loose screws and shelves of trophies above stretching from the left of the wall to the right. The ceilings are extremely tall, but this is throughout the building not just in the dance room. The only sunlight available is from a small window above the mirror on the left side of the room. Like a classroom though, there is a white board in the front of the room with things for dance classes listed and a few things with people’s names on them.
Warm up. Music is playing and some girls stretch together; others ignore the leader and go at their own pace. Once finished with the warm up the coach, Ms. Diane Hasenbank tells the girls what to do across the floor and they line up in three lines and do as told. The dancers are focused in what they are doing but also having small side conversations with others. Three people would go at a time and then the next three would count out an eight counts and start. When doing pirouettes the girls did three plus, some falling out, some landing, and others just had to stop themselves. The girls that turned and landed nicely with no wobbling were so graceful. They all made it look so easy but I know it has taken years of practice to look so good.
The girls transition to the corner of the room where they make two lines and leap across to the opposite corner. The regular leaps were easy for everyone to get their legs straight in the air. Regardless of getting up in the air, different heights restricted the girls to get up only so high.
I noticed how fit these girls were. People never think about how much muscle and energy it takes to dance. When turning, dancers use their core muscles to stay strong, arms use muscles to stay up and in place, and legs must hold strong and not wobble. When leaping they have to pick up their body weight and go against gravity while also doing some type of movement with their legs. Dancing is not easy and when a dancer makes something look easy, they must be brilliant.
The girls start the next practice off with doing exercises across the floor again. The coach was out because of an allergic reaction leaving only the assistant coach, Kiersten, in charge. Kiersten looks pretty young, maybe still in college. She starts off by showing the girls what she wants them to do across the floor as they stand in two lines. Step kick, step kick, step hold, 2, 3, 4. As the girls go across the floor I notice them watching themselves in the mirror as well as watching the people in front of them. Most of the girls do the hold well but one or two do not have their leg as straight as the others. The next exercise involved doing a pirouette and holding the stance in place, which seem to be a challenge for all but one or two girls. When Kiersten showed the girls what she wanted them to do many girls stayed in place just moving their feet to copy her. The girls had to have a lot of control using their muscles to stay up and not fall. The following exercise had the girls do a step kick; step/prep and then kick their leg up, holding it and turning. A lot of girls would pause before kicking their leg to have enough push/force to turn around. I saw a few girls go to the side and practice before going again.
All but one of the girls are wearing black shirts, mostly tank tops. Everyone has on shorts, some black spandex and others wore colored track shorts. Everyone had their hair either in a bun or ponytail except for one girl with short hair (above the shoulders). I’m guessing the girls are supposed to wear black shirts as kind of a uniform for practice.
All but one of the girls are wearing black shirts, mostly tank tops. Everyone has on shorts, some black spandex and others wore colored track shorts. Everyone had their hair either in a bun or ponytail except for one girl with short hair (above the shoulders). I’m guessing the girls are supposed to wear black shirts as kind of a uniform for practice.
ReplyDeleteThe girls transition from the two lines across the floor to one long line from the corner. They begin by jumping up and pointing their toes from one corner to the opposite. As the girls do this I notice the flick of the ankle and real point in the foot not toes. Next the girls do single leaps first right leap then left. All the girls hit the splits in the air with no problem. Side leaps follow single leaps and the girls hit the side leap nicely. These leaps look so simple but I know from experience that it takes a lot of practice. Switch leaps! Switch leaps are very difficult to master but somehow every single one of the girls hit it. Switch leaps are so beautiful when done correctly. The girls then get a break for water and a breather before transitioning to choreography.
The jazz dance was Madonna and I really enjoyed it. But I noticed that their dance is not really difficult just quick, a lot at once, and the girls do the moves well. The dance has a lot of parts where there are two different things going on at once but every once in a while the girls dance in unison. The girls do the Madonna dance at least four times and I can see how the girls are getting tired. The next dance is the pom dance, where the girls dance with pom poms. The pom music is a mix and most of the songs are upbeat and fast. The girls are all exhausted after doing this and messing up a few times. Overall the dance was good though and practice ran smoothly, in my eyes at least.
The third practice I observed was a little different because it was not just large varsity; it was all the girls on all teams. They start off by having a talk, all the girls sat in a circle with the coach, Ms. Diane Hasenbank and assistant coach, Kiersten. Ms. Diane tells the girls what has been happening with her over the past few weeks which makes her emotional. As Diane gets emotional it shows how much she cares about these girls and feels bad for not being there for a while. She then shows them what song the senior dances song will be. After the talk she tells the seniors to go start their dance in the dance room while the rest of the girls stay in the circle in the gym. Hasenbank separates the rest of the girls into three groups and gives each group their section of the song they need to choreograph to.
Each group grabs a stereo and spreads out throughout the gym to start. Everyone sits down around their stereos and listens to their section of the song before they start any work. I already knew once she made the groups that there would be an authority in each group that made up most of the choreography without even being asked or told. The girls had to choreograph twenty seconds of a dance which they would then teach to the seniors. I transitioned to interviewing Ms. Hasenbank and did not get to watch the girls choreograph.
After interviewing Ms. Hasenbank I went to watch the seniors and see their progress. They only had one eight count down after probably thirty minutes. I noticed that they had no authority figure directing them to get to work. The girls seemed to be just standing around and a few playing with moves but nothing productive was being done. Once Ms. Diane came in to see what the girls had, they started to make progress. One girl, Andrea, made a small suggestion that Ms. Diane liked and all the girls added it onto the eight count. Ideas just kept coming to the girls and the dance was built piece by piece. Because the senior dance is usually a sad and emotional time, the girls dance using the words more than the listen to just the beat. The assistant coach and dancer, Mary Alison continues to dance off to the side and make up more to add. Ms. Diane goes back to the gym with the others while Kiersten stays to help. Briana also makes up moves to add and Yarelis tries but nobody is really taking her suggestions. I can tell who is a top dancer compared to a JV dancer because the JV dancers are quiet and not as good in the dancing. They have also placed themselves in the back which displays lack of confidence. The dance is all put together thanks to Kiersten and the girls practice it a few more times. Then they all go back to the gym to show the rest of the girls what they have choreographed.
ReplyDeleteOnce finished the girls all sit in a circle to talk again. Ms. Diane gives a paper to each girl and talks to them for a little. They will pick up on the dances next time but she lets them go change before the bell rings to end the day.
I will be reviewing Imani's Essay.
DeleteA Day at the Husky Pup Preschool
ReplyDeleteHow did the program begin?
In 1837 a man named Friedich Froebel founded his own school and called it “kindergarten” or the children’s garden. He came up with this name from his tutor group that he would teach at a small garden. Before Frobel created kindergarten children under 7 did not attend school. In America there were places called Infant schools set up in churches, and factories during the Industrial Revolution. In 1965 the program Head Start started for low-income children and it has grown throughout the years. Today, Preschool is growing larger and larger, and more children are attending preschool to prepare them for kindergarten.
Even though I could not find out when this specific program started, my informant, Mrs. Burrell did tell me that this program started at Hagerty three years after the school opened. So the preschool has only been open for about 5 years now. It first started here as just level one where there was no preschool just students learning about how to take care of children and guidelines for preschools. Then when Mrs. Burrell came to this school and expanded the program and added the preschool. Every year since this program has started at Hagerty Mrs. Burrell added more kids, though she said this year we hit our max and she will not go above 20 kids. Also throughout the years in this program Mrs. Burrell added more and more observation worksheets for the students to do. Every year she had to change or add something to improve the preschool/program, which I believe she has done a wonderful job. This year she just started an application that students who would like to be in this program have to fill out. She had to do this because she is getting to many students who want to be involved in this community. This program has become very popular at Hagerty and many other schools in Seminole county.
The layout of the Husky Pup Preschool
The Husky Pup Preschool is one big room with the kitchen and the bathroom in the back. Next to the kitchen there is a door to the playground. The playground consist of a play set with two slides, stairs and a climbing part, there is a play house in the area and there is a sandbox, tricycles, kids basket ball hoop, bounce balls, and hula hoops. The far opposite of the kitchen is a door to the early childhood classroom where our classroom is, where the teachers things are and where we prepare for the lessons. The preschool is set up into different sections like math, science, story, construction, computer, art, and circle. We have the preschool set up in a way that all the quiet groups are together like math, and story, and all the loud groups are together like art and science. When you first walk through the doors there are all the children’s cubbies for they can put their backpacks up and their blankets. By the art section there is sinks for it is easy access after they paint and in the center of the preschool room is the lunch tables. This room is not very big it is about two regular size classrooms, but it works out perfect for the amount of kids there.
A preschool day
ReplyDeleteI arrive to this class at around 12:40pm every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, but the kids are only here from Tuesday-Thursday so we have Friday for out planning day. As I am walking in the kids are just getting up from their daily nap. Once the late bell rings for sixth period all the teachers begin helping the children get up from their naps. One of the little boys starts to put on his shoes and Emily one of the teachers helps him. Once his shoes are back on him Emily folds up his blanket, puts it in his cubby, and puts up his cot. What I have noticed about this time is that it takes along time to get the kids ready and to the carpet. I believe that it takes so long even though there are 36 teachers and only 20 kids is because many teachers just stand around and watch or they start to set up their lessons. As the cots are being put away one of the little boys starts to cry because he wanted to put up his cot and one of the teachers did instead.
Once all the kids woke up from their nap, put up all of their things and sat down at the carpet, circle began. The directors this week Alex and Carly begin the calendar. They asked the children, “What is today’s date?” Ashleyn knew the answer so she walked up and stuck the card in the slot with today’s date. Some other questions they asked where, “What day of the week is it today?”, “What was it yesterday?”, “What will it be tomorrow?”, “What is the weather like outside?” and they had a kid come up for each one. This took about seven minutes even though there is about fifteen minutes set aside for circle. Since there was extra time Alex and Carly decided to have the children practice their song for graduation. First they went through the steps of the dance to teach them. Many of the children looked lost since this was the first time they practiced it. They went through the steps a couple of times till they got a hang of it and then they turned on the song and they all danced to it. One of the girls got lost so she looked up at the teachers to figure out what comes next. They went through the song a couple of times until circle time was over.
After circle is complete the kids go to their first group of the day. On Tuesdays there are three groups and on Wednesday there is one for a total of four groups during the week. There are about five kids per group and all kids are color coded into four colors (red, yellow, blue, and green). There are signs for each color group. When a teacher holds up the sign for one of the colors, all the kids with that color, lines up behind the sign and they get brought to their group.
During the first group I went and observed the math lesson. When all the kids sat down, one of the little girls gets mad and says, “I don’t want him here!” She was referring to one of the little boys that sat next to her. When she would not stop wining one of the teachers took her to Mrs. Burrell (Our teacher) to calm her down. Once that was situated the teachers began their lesson. It is Easter week so all the lessons are based off of Easter. Behind Emily, the teacher, there were ten baskets and each one had a number from one to ten on it. Emily grabs the first four baskets and has each kid count the number on the baskets. Then she takes a basket and a cup of robin eggs and asks one of the little boys named Whiston, “What number is on this basket?”
He says, “Three.”
“Can you count out three eggs and put them in the basket?” Emily asked.
Whiston says, “Yes,” and starts to count, “One, two, three.”
“Good Job!” says Emily and she continues this for each of the ten baskets. All of the children really seemed like they enjoyed this activity because almost all of them where asking, “Can I go again.”
On Tuesdays after the kids finish their third group all the kids go and sit down at the lunch tables for snack. During our class period snack consists of juice and water. The group that is in charge of snack brings out the drinks in pitchers. There are four trays for each table that has a pitcher of water and a pitcher of juice with five cups for each kid at that table. Once the trays are brought out we have the kids sing open-shut them before they get their drinks. The song goes like this:
ReplyDeleteOpen shut them, Open shut them (the kids open and shut their hands)
Give a little clap, clap, clap (kids clap their hands three times)
Open shut them, open shut them (the kids open and shut their hands)
Lay them in your lap, lap, lap. (the kids clap their hands on their laps three times)
After the children sing this song the kids grab the pitchers and pour themselves either juice or water in their cups. Once they are finished with snack the kids go and get their stuff out of the cubbies, put their name tags up, and go and sit down on the carpet.
The directors of the week are in charge of the car lane. Lexi, one of the directors, goes outside to the first car and asks, “What is the name of your kid?” and the woman in the car says, “Aryanna.” Lexi hands her the sign out book and the woman signs the paper. Lexi yells to the other director, Alli, “Aryanna!” and Alli goes and gets Aryanna from inside and brings her to her mom. This continues until all twenty kids are gone. Inside while the kids are waiting for their parents to arrive, they play on the carpet and talk to the teachers. Once all the kids are gone, the teachers clean up and get ready to leave.
How the teachers prepare?
What I have gone over so far is what happens on days when the preschoolers are here. On planning days, which is Friday for me, we plan our lessons for the following weeks. The teachers are in groups of about three or four and each group is assigned a job for each preschool week. The jobs are director, cleaning, newsletter, bulletin board, large group observe, circle, and four small groups, which right now for my class is art, small group observe, math, and science. The small groups change up every couple of weeks.
When coming up with a lesson we have to find an activity that goes along with the theme of the week. My group is looking for a lesson for Eric Carle week. We all get on our phones and start looking up, Eric Carle cute activities. Then Emily my group member finds a cute idea. She found an activity were the kids make a butterfly out of a coffee filter and a clothes hanger and draw tons of colored circles with marker and dab water on each circle, so it will expand and make a colorful butterfly. We all decided that we liked the idea so we went to Mrs. Burrell to approve our lesson, she approves it so we continue and write our lesson plan. We think about what we should call it and we decide on “The very Colorful Butterfly” just like Eric Carle’s “The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” Then we finish the rest of the lesson plan which consists of open ended questions, vocabulary words, developmental skills, and motivation questions. Once finished, we start preparing and getting everything ready for our lessons like signs and materials. We go and get coffee filters, clothes pins, and pipe cleaners. All three of us start to fold the coffee filters, add the clothes pin, and put the pipe cleaner on the top of the clothes pin for the antennas. Emily takes one of the completed butterflies and tests it. She takes washable markers and non-washable makers and figures out which one expands better (the washable ones did). Then she tested how big the circles had to be for the best results. These are the kinds of things we do on our planning days to prepare for our lessons. Once done preparing, most of the teachers just sit around on their phones, doing homework, or just talking.
I will be reviewing Amber's essay
DeleteEdgar Ortiz
ReplyDeleteENC 1101 0M04
Ok this is like the first draft of my work so obviously some stuff is missing, like the complete interview, the conclusion and some details here and there. Still, for whoever is going to review me, let me know on how I have done so far and what I should fix. Remember to be criticize nicely! ;) Here it is:
Central Florida Comedy Aiming For Your Laugh Box
The Drunken Monkey Coffee Lounge
For my ethnography paper, I chose a comedy group that performs every Friday in Drunken Monkey Coffee Lounge free of charge. It was perfect since I go there almost every Friday to have some coffee and a good time. While it is not exactly the comics’ only place where they perform, I will talk about the place since it is my personal favorite hangout spot in Orlando and a great place to go see their show. The place is located in Bumby Avenue in Orlando. It is pretty calm and laid back, and decently sized. Their specialty is, of course, coffee since it’s a coffee lounge. They also sell sandwiches and other snacks. The place has many round and high tables as well as the regular low ones. It also has a sofa area in the front of the place with some shelves filled with board and card games, and two small tables in the middle to play. The walls are decorated with a lot of cool indie artwork, some which are for sale. It is also filled with a lot of flyers for local events, making this place a pretty active sponsor for just about anything. They can range from a music or art festival to a high school play. There is nothing much to say about the employees other than they are nice to the costumers and good at keeping the place clean. There’s really all sorts of people in here, from old working adults to young students. Some come here for relaxing while others come here with their laptops to either do some work or study.
I come here almost every Friday with my best friend Iyan, and it could be safe to say that we are one of their best fans and show goers. Besides all the laughter and different jokes, there is always something new at every visit to Drunken Monkey, and my first field study was no different. I sat down with my delicious Mojo Jojo coffee (their signature specialty, which they describe as “an explosion of coffee with cinnamon and honey with a bit of coconut”) with my friend Iyan and listened to the stand up comedy. What’s very notable about us is Iyan’s loud laughter, it is probably the loudest of the crowd, so loud even the performers themselves took notice of us and gave us high fives in the middle of the show. As always, the guys really know how to crack the audience up with laughter. Of course there is always the few people who don’t seem to have a sense of humor and simply just sit there and watch with nothing but a poker face. Usually about 10 to 15 comedians perform every night on a 5 to 8 minute in-between basis and I must say all of them are funny. All have their own style and original jokes so it’s really hard to pick my favorites. They use very uncensored language for their jokes, so they swear a lot. They use a lot of sarcasm, thought, puns, imagination, cleverness, analogies, etc in their jokes and the audience responds well. Sometimes they even joke about the people near them, for example they ask the people who are using their computers what they are doing and then pop up an improvised joke about it. A really positive and fun going audience for the most part I must say.
Ross Martin and the Comedy Community
ReplyDeleteEventually after a few visits, before doing this paper, we went up to some of the comics just to tell them how awesome they were, just like any fan would do. That’s when I met Ross and Jimmy, two of the funniest performers, so we were already acquaintanced before this project. They’re really cool guys. So I decided to interview Ross on the first visit and started by asking him about a brief and general description of the group. At first I believed they were the leaders but it turns out it’s not an actual club of comics, according to Ross. It is a group of people (mostly friends) getting together and connected through the Facebook group Orlando Comedy Community (OCC), a place that informs people of local comedy gigs and business, as well as a meeting site for comedians. He did say that, even though there is no leader, comedians tend to look up to the ones with the most experience since, in his words, “the group is not as organized as you may think”. And because of that, there is really no mission or goal behind the group other than make you laugh and have a good time. He also recommended me some other comedy venues where he performs, like Natura and the Orlando Improv Comedy Club. Of the accomplishments he mentioned some Central Florida comics have opened for national comics like Doug Benson and Tig Notaro, and groups of guys have produced their own independent shows and taken them on tour.
I asked him regarding the responsibilities of comics on and off the stage:
“That depends on the comic, personally I think on stage you have responsibilities to the show (not to be so experimental that you make it difficult for other people to perform), I think you have a responsibilities to the audience to be professional and prepared and never treat it like it doesn’t matter. And off stage you have responsibilities to the room by not talking during other peoples sets.”
For interested comedians, he recommends people to open mic contests and try out your best but also to make sure you start out as an audience member in order to get a feel of the place.
Comedy In Action
On another of the field visits, Iyan and I decided to try out some of the board game the place had on the sofa area but a lot of pieces were missing, probably due to the unorganized shelves but we did managed to play Uno. When the show began, I thought we could play on the side and have the comedy as background but the comedians were so engaging in their work and so entertaining that we couldn’t help but stop playing and just get into it. That’s how good they are. This time around I was sitting in the front so it was no surprise that some of the comics interacted with us, like one of them who asked me to finish a phrase for him. “I slept with a girl one night but I realized that I made one huge mistake. I didn’t have a…what? What do you think I didn’t have?”, he asked me in front of a 20 people audience. I obviously didn’t know so I made the ‘I don’t know’ face’, so he helped me finish. “Sadly I didn’t have something…And that something starts with a C….then an O….So? I didn’t have a connnn--”. Immediately I guessed and said CONDOM out loud. “Nooo”, he said, “CONSENT! I didn’t have consent so the night ended horrible…and I felt bad.” It was so hilarious! It was cool being part of a joke and everyone had a laugh out of it. The rest of the night was very funny as usual and there is always a new joke to crack out to, as well as some familiar but great ones.
On the final field visit (for the paper, of course) Iyan and I had another great night in the place, as usual, but Ross wasn‘t around. This time after all the comics were done, we stayed and chatted with Jimmy for a while. For the most part we talked about the awesomeness of comedy and how good he was for his awkward style of humor, while also talking about our personal lives and some other cool stuff like influences. Iyan mentioned he was interested in trying out stand up comedy, having some jokes written down for any special occasion, so Jimmy gave him the push and motivation to try it out, saying that there’s always available spots and how it’s just like talking and having fun with the crowd. To even motivate more, a new unexperienced comic that was close friends with Jimmy and Ross started that same night and he was just as hilarious as the rest. After the nice 30 minute chat, Iyan and I left the place with some thought on giving stand up comedy a try.
ReplyDeleteHow it all started.
ReplyDeleteIn 1902 a small company started to grow into something we all know today. A man named George Draper Dayton founded the company that is known today as Target. In 1999 at Waterford Lakes a Super Target was made, which started expanding the community Mr. Dayton created. This community within the store has grown with new and old members. Some members have gone to a higher level within the community and have left the store. Within the store the community known as Assets Protection has grown into a major part of the store.
What is Assets Protection?
ReplyDeleteWhen you walk into the store and see the guy with the navy blue uniform standing at the front doors you have found Assets Protection. This community main goal is safety and security for the entire store. This community is the security that is inside the store to keep people safe while they shop. They are also known for preventing people from stealing in the store as well. In a single store the average size of the team is around five members for each store. The community for the team goes further than just within the store but to other districts as well. These other stores help partner with all of the other stores in the area to maintain the goal.
What it’s like to be Assets Protection.
It is a Thursday afternoon as I walk up to a Target store with excitement in my eyes. As I make my way inside I notice all the bright red colors and people walking around going in multiple different directions. I then make my way down to the office where my community resides. As I enter the Security office known as the Assets Protection office I notice the atmosphere completely changed from where I just was. The color went from bright red to a very dull gray and there was only one person inside this area. While giving my greetings to the Security manager known as the Executive Team Leader – Assets Protection Nicole she walks me over to the main area of the office and asks me to sit in a bright red chair. As I take my seat I watch Nicole work. She sits in her chair; the only one with arm rests and begins watching the dual screen monitors from the dell computer. On the computer there are tiny screen images that display multiple cameras that are placed throughout the store.
As Nicole is watching the cameras she starts to focus very hard, then jumps back in her seat as she grabs a black walkie talkie and ask for “hard lines four”. Shortly after her response someone goes over the walkie stating “go for hard lines four”. Nicole then tells the person over the walkie that they need to make their way to electronics for a person who is pulling a piece of merchandise off of a locking peg hook. While sitting in my office chair I can see everything this person is doing without him ever suspecting that I even know. While the person who answered to the phrase “hard lines four” gets closer to the person I notice Nicole telling him to “PMR” the subject. When the person stealing looks up he witnesses a man in a dark navy blue security uniform, walking right at him. Right before the security person can reach the boy stealing the boy throws the merchandise on a shelf as he makes his way towards the exit of the store. After the incident is over Nicole starts to celebrate and explains to me that a productive merchandise recovery has just occurred.
After Nicole has a short celebration the man who went by hard lines four walks in. He tells me hello and states to me that his name is Kevin the Target Protection Specialist that is working today. As I sit in my seat I begin to realize that I am sweating and start to wonder if it was from the excitement of the person trying to steal or if the office is kept hot for interrogation reasons. I then notice a metal bench sitting in the corner of the office with a pair of handcuffs hanging from them. The hand cuffs appear to not be used very often but still make me uncomfortable not knowing what has happened in that area. My eyes then start to drift over to a small portion of the wall where I can see multiple scratches and scuff marks. This must be the area where people tend to struggle. As I keep looking around I smell a faint smell in the air noticing that paint has been recently applied to the office, possibly to cover more scuff marks from people resisting arrest. After seeing all the excitement I decided it was time to leave. I said my goodbyes as I walked out with a different view of people shopping.
Speaking with management
ReplyDeleteWhen I first met this community I was approached by a tall young woman named Nicole. She walked around with me as I gained insight into the community. I began to get curious how one gets into the position of a Target security manager. I asked the question of how she got started in this job and why choose this field of work. She replied back to me “I starting working here because I needed a job and needed security experience before I can join the Federal Bureau of Investigations”. She then explained to me that one of her friends joined Assets Protection right after college and enjoyed it. I then started to remember the day before and notice that she had used words that were unfamiliar to me such as PMR and Hard lines four. I then asked her what these words mean and if she used any other words in the community that were special for the community only. She then told me about PMR which is a productive merchandise recovery. A PMR is when there is an incident where a shopping customer decides to steal and the security team scares the individual enough for them to abandon the stolen merchandise. Hard lines four was actually just something that they use to call each other over the walkies to get in touch fast. After hearing multiple different terms I began to get curious about how much this team communicates outside of just using walkies. When I asked her she replied “well we talk to each other using face to face communication such as a group huddle or one on one conversation. Also we use cell phones and email to reach outside stores for shop lifters who go to more than one store”.
Assets Protection and Target
Not every day does the security team and the store team work for the same goal. The goal for the store every day is to create more sales and keep the shoppers coming back to the store so they will spend more money. This goal does not interfere with the security goal but does not help it either. With all of the problems in the past with security making apprehensions (a point where the security stops you for shop lifting and turns you over to the police) of people who were not stealing, Target has made more rules and regulations on how the security team can do their job without effecting the Target goal. These rules can cause huge problems with the security team in stopping theft. At times the team will know that someone is stealing but if all of the regulations are not met Target prevents the security team from completing their own goal so that Target will maintain their own. The security team does not get discourage though because the great thing about people who steal is they always return.
Apprehension
ReplyDeleteWhen a shopper is deemed a shoplifter Assets Protection is there to save the day. When the individual is located and all rules have been maintained an apprehension is conducted. Talking with one of the employees he walked me through the process of what goes on during an apprehension. Corey explained to me the process of approaching the subject and presenting yourself as a security personal at target and to ask them to follow you into the store. If the subject denies you and attempts to run you can use an acceptable amount of force to keep the subject within the store. When the subject agrees to move with you in a calm manner you then take them back to the Assets Protection office where there is the investigation area.
Entering the investigation area you see the damaged walls and steel bench where the criminal will sit as you make your way in. When the subject sits down you ask them why they think that you stopped them and brought them into this room. Corey explained that most people will admit to stealing the merchandise, but there are always people who will resist even though they know you know they were stealing. This sometimes presents a problem in the security team’s investigation but the police will settle the problem when they arrive. If the subject is being cooperative then you can ask more questions to see if the theft was for personal use or for a bigger reason. Some people enter stores and steal merchandise to re-sell on the streets, EBAY, pawn shops, and more. When you can determine why the person was here then you can move on to what type of crime gets placed on the subject. Most shoplifters end up getting a misdemeanor theft and leave the store with the police.
Corey then explained to me the people who normally steal within the Waterford lakes store. It is mainly young females ranging from 12 to 22 in age. These females are normally apprehended for stealing clothing and jewelry from the store. The part where you tell them they are being charged with a crime and the police will be called is always the same. The subject will freak out and normally cry thinking that they did not realize that it was that big of a deal and yes the men cry to just not as often. Most people do not realize that being stopped by a Target security personal is just a part of how target teams up with police officers in order to help keep crime down.
Working with police
Target security has created an environment where they work with the police very often and have a similar goal that relates well with the police. This goal is keeping a safe environment for everyone. Over the years Target has develop Target and blue which is a partnerships between law enforcement and Assets Protection. Some of the things created in this is programs like Safe City, National Night Out, Law Enforcement Grant Program, Equipment Donation Program, and much more. One of the events National Night Out (NNO) happens every year where multiple Target Assets Protection members gather at a location with a local police department. In the location the local community is gathered together to have an event such and handing out school supplies for children and free food. The main reason for this gathering is to gain support from the local residence to stop theft in the area and strengthen a bond between people and law enforcement personal. This event can help keep Targets Assets Protection goal.
Don’t Steal from Target
In my experience at Target Assets Protection I have learned a lot of what goes on behind the scenes. I now know that no matter how awesome your plan is to not get caught you still do. The Assets Protection team is not just a bunch of rental cops but people who really just care for the community. The team has a major drive to stop the theft and communicate to other Assets Protection teams in other areas to make sure you cannot do it at other stores either. I will keep shopping at this store just for the safe environment I know that exists just to keep me a safer shopper.
Bethel SDA
ReplyDeleteA beautiful Community among Communities
How many times have you walked out your front door and noticed walking
Across your driveway a couple of ants maybe even more then make you comfortable? Well usually this is a simple observation that wouldn’t cause us to break our daily routine. However those ants had to of come from somewhere and usually if you follow the trail you will find somewhere close an ant bed full of many its counterparts. Mom, dad, cousins, family, friends, or just acquaintances all inhabit this ant mound. They work together, play together, exist together all in what we would call a community. Have you ever thought of what goes on in the community of that ant pile in front of your house, how they interact with each other, or what type of discourse is used by these ants, how did this ant community begin? What about the fact that their community is a byproduct of the larger community your yard. All of these are interesting thoughts on how we have communities all around us and how they are all intertwined with each other. Well I don’t know about you but I now will look at the ant piles in my yard differently. I am not writing however about ants or their community but about a small community among larger communities that like a ant pile in your yard has a life of its own and very often can get overlooked disguised in the scenery of the city. This little blue house/church is my community Bethel Seventh Day Adventist Church. I believe it is very interesting and like the ant pile after exploring this community you will never look at it the same either.
First Glance
Bethel is a community that could be overlooked by the naked eye as easily as we overlook our ant piles in our yard. It is hidden by a giant white oak that seems to be
as ancient as the Bible. The view from the major highway it is off of is somewhat obstructed by the great fathering tree that sits in the middle of the property. I am always running late and have to speed into church as soon as I park and usually don’t have time to observe a whole lot. However this day I wanted to observe with a new, curious eye what this community really looks like.
The first thing I noticed on this day is that all the shrubbery on the property is cut perfectly. The grass is a deep green and I can still see the lawnmower trail as if the grass was just cut. There is a giant white oak tree in the middle of the parking lot that looks to be as ancient as the Bible. The giant branches hang over a good portion of the parking lot like giant eagles wings covering its baby chicks. There are a bunch of cars parked purposely under the shade of those giant branches of the tree. I can understand why the sun is beaming over the entire parking lot and by the end of church your car will be a big easy bake oven with wheels. Most of the cars are parked on the beautiful, well manicured lawn except for the assigned handicapped parked close to the church on the narrow strip of pavement. The church is not the typical big, tall steeple church it looks like a little baby blue house that was renovated to make a little larger. There is a big cross on the front of it that really is the only thing that identifies it as a church. There is a smaller house on the property and a little shed next to it that fill the space. Overall it just looks like
Andre, I read your piece twice and I really like many of analogies you make between the ants and church communities. My advice would be to use a thesaurus so that you will not repeat words or to find stronger words to support your statements. I made changes to your first two paragraphs to give you and example:A beautiful Community among Communities
DeleteHow many times have you walked out your front door and noticed walking
across your driveway a couple of ants, maybe even more then make you comfortable? Well usually this is a simple observation that wouldn’t cause us to break our daily routine. Those ants had to of come from somewhere. If you follow the trail, you will discover it is somewhere close. An ant mound is full of many counterparts. A mom (queen), dads, cousins, all family, and friends cohabiting in harmony. They work together, play together, exist together all in what we would call a community. Have you ever thought of what goes on in the community of that ant pile? How do they interact with each other, or what type of discourse is used by these ants? How did this ant community begin? Consider that their community is a byproduct of the larger community your yard. All of these are interesting thoughts. We have communities all around us, yet they are all intertwined. Well, I don’t know about you, but I now will look at that ant pile differently. But I am not writing however about ants or their community but rather about a small community much like that ant pile with a life of its own. A little blue house transformed into a church is my community. It is Bethel Seventh Day Adventist Church. I believe it is very interesting and like the ant pile after exploring this community you will never look at it the same either.
First Glance
Hidden by a giant white oak that seems to be
as ancient as the Bible and a major highway, sits Bethel Seventh Day Adventist Church. On Saturdays, I am always running late. Speeding to park and get inside, I rarely take the time to observe a whole lot. However, today, I want to observe with a new, analytical eye what this community really looks like.
At first glance, I note the shrubbery, perfectly groomed. The grass is a deep green and I can still see the lawnmower trail as if the grass was just cut. The elder white oak’s giant branches hang over a good portion of the parking lot like giant eagles wings covering its baby chicks. Many cars strategically park under the shade of those giant branches. I can understand why. The sun is beaming over the entire parking lot and by the end of the service, a car becomes a big easy bake oven with wheels. The rest park on the beautiful, well-manicured lawn and there is assigned handicapped parking located close to the church on the narrow strip of pavement. Although not your typical big, tall steeple church, the big cross on the front identifies it as a church. There is a smaller house on the property and a little shed next to it that fill the space. Overall it just looks like
Reply
Eliminating some of the sentences you already said will pull your piece together. Also, where you describe people such as the "well-dressed little boy", tell what he is wearing so that the reader can visualize what you saw that day. Add breaks in your quotes and use visuals like, as she smiles and nods her head...this helps us to identify with the person you are writing about.
Deletea little blue house on a large grass lot somewhat hidden from view. The inside can tell a different story from the outside so lets look at the inside of this community.
ReplyDeleteInside the mound
Just as removing some of the outer part of an ant mound there is a whole
different world of life within so inside this beautiful little church is full of life too. I documented one of my visits to Bethel on a normal Saturday morning going to church. As we pull up people recognize us and start waving at us a saying “Happy Sabbath Elder Grace”. We wave back and say the same. We pull into my assigned parking space close to the church and I get out and put my suit jacket on. As I do I notice the beautiful, blue sky everything even nature seems so peaceful. The entrance to the church is on the side and we walk in together.
As soon as we open the door and come in there is a woman greeter that shakes our hands and hands us some papers that are a program for the service. She says to us “Happy Sabbath Elder and Sister Grace” and gives us both hugs.I look to the right and see chairs and benches arranged neatly and about 40 people sitting down. There is a piano on the front left side of the church and a wooden podium in the middle with chairs behind it. It looks like a church on the inside.
As we go to take our seat there is a young man in his 30’s with a small book in his hand speaking to everyone. He is teaching the Sabbath School class. He is very energetic and everyone seems to be engaged in his conversation. Most of the people seem to have the same little book in their hands and are following along with him attentively. A well dressed, distinguished man raises his hand and after being acknowledged by the teacher he makes a comment. “God tells us things for a reason He told us to keep His day Holy why is it that we want to do things our way instead of the way He told us too?” After his comment a lot of hands shoot up in the air. While this dialogue is going on I look back and see a small bench with a board full of keys and buttons and a young boy working on it. It is a sound board that controls the microphones, two big standing speakers where all the sound comes out and other mixed technology. I look up and see right above our head a small camera that looks like a big moving eye. There is another one across the room and one in the back of the church. These are video cameras that stream the service live over the internet. I can’t help but think this is a lot of technology for this little church house. The teacher sits down and everyone says Amen.
It seems as though the whole congregation is of one mind and know exactly when and what to say together. Now a woman comes up to a small wooden podium upfront from her seat in the middle right side of the church. She thanks the teacher and introduces another woman who comes forward says to everyone “Happy Sabbath” and begins to sing. The music is somewhat loud at first but then the young kid working the board turns it to a reasonable volume. As she sings I hear some people behind me saying “Amen” during different parts of the song. It seems that many people really related to the song. When she was finished everyone in unison said “Amen”. The woman singer returned to her seat as the first woman comes back up and says “Goodbye from Sabbath School hope you enjoyed it”. Everyone again in unison says “Amen”. It seems as though the whole congregation is of one mind and know exactly when and what to say together. They even stand and sit together when asked. While all of this is going on people are still coming in and as they do everyone tends to look back to see who is coming in. This is definitely a distraction but as a small house church I guess it is unavoidable.
Everyone is dressed up in suits or nice dresses even the kids. Most wearing dark colored clothing. I look around and see a lot of smiles on the faces of the people. There are A few sad looks.
There are not a lot of little kids but I notice a little well dressed boy sitting next to his mom. I also notice a teenage girl sitting in the back with her head down texting on her phone... I try not to look to hard at her as she knows if this was a regular day and I was working I would give her the sign to turn it off, but I am off duty today. There is a lot of islanders here you can here the Caribbean ascent from a lot of the speakers. There is little diversity here as almost all the people are black but there is one white lady who seems to feel very comfortable. Most of the people seem to be older also.
ReplyDeleteAs the pastor and elders come in we are told to stand and everyone stands as they walk up to the rostrum then we all finish singing the song and sit together. During the sermon you hear a random “Amen” or “Praise God”. At different times of the service and sermon they tend to get louder and more frequent especially during the music. The sermon is about the atmosphere in our homes and it seems as though a lot of people have serious looks on their faces really contemplating what he is saying. . “Our families are being destroyed because the atmosphere at home is toxic. Parents aren’t talking to their kids, Husbands and Wives are not affectionate towards each other so they don’t know how to show love. There are kids screaming inside for love affection and attention from their parents or parent. They have issues they need to talk to someone about and momma or daddy aint there for them. And we act surprised when they act out at school” Said the preacher in a serious almost sad tone. At the end of his sermon and while the pianist plays soft music a girl is crying. I notice a few more crying. Many seemed really touched by the message. Each of the elders up front spoke at different points of the service. I notice one woman elder. There is a short well dressed man directing the congregation in songs the whole service while the pianist plays along every song as if she wrote them. One of the elders seems to be the coordinator of the whole service I know because normally that is me. He says some closing remarks asks us to stand for prayer and dismisses us all. We all file out row by row.As we exit I notice people seem to have a sudden burst of energy. Everyone so happy talking and hugging each other as we all make our ways to our cars and leave eventually. Everyone seems to be so happy. This seemed to be the life within the community of Bethel.
There was definitely a different and unique discourse used in this particular community. The greetings “Happy Sabbath” seemed to be the identifying discourse of the community and it seemed to bond them all together. The language in church and many biblical references seem to be apart of all of there discourses.
ReplyDeleteTo truly get a since of what a newcomer would feel like joining this community I asked a new member named Michelle some questions. She has been active in the church but just joined the church through baptism at the end of last year. She doesn’t do a lot for the service or is up front a lot but is always active in the background. I asked her how long she has been apart of this community. Michelle, “I became a member officially in December of 2012 when I was baptized.”
I also asked her what made you want to be apart of it.Michelle,“ What made me was I started to study the Bible and was interested in joining a church and learning more Also having that family feeling that Bethel has.”
Me, “What role do you play in this community?” Michelle, “Ummm well I’ve been helping out in many areas. I help out with the women’s ministry department, family life and wherever they need help. Also the youth program at the church.”
Me, “well it seems as though you have been pretty active so far.” Michelle, “ Yea, pretty much”
Me, “Has this community changed your life in any way, if so how?” Michelle, “ Yea it has totally. I have a new understanding of what a church family really means. I never had understanding of that before coming from a large church and actually not really going that much at all. It totally changed my life. I go to church on Saturday now and I go every week.”
Me, “What specifically has this church done to make you feel like family? Michelle,” They have embraced me like a family would. I have never felt like an outsider.”
What language discourse is unique to this community and has it changed your language discourse at home?” Michelle, “Well yeah the first thing is the way they greet each other its Happy Sabbath, and that was something I had to get use to saying. So that would be something that stands out.”
Me, “Is this community something that others would want to be apart of if so what type of person would benefit the most from being apart of this community?” Michelle,” Any type of person would benefit from it. Hmmm aaaa someone that’s looking for a church to go to a small close family oriented church family.”
Me, “According to Sociologist Etienne Wenger's theory of communities of practice (shaped, initially, with Jean Lave) there are 3 interrelated modes of belonging a newcomer must face when in a new community. Engagement, Imagination, and Alignment. How would you say a newcomer would do this or have done this in your community? Michelle, “The feeling of family, I don’t feel like an outsider.
Me, “Do you connect with the other members of this community?” Michelle, “I consider the older people as mothers and fathers. A new person can contribute a lot like helping the community helping with the service technology, banners, I had a background in parties and I have done a lot of party planning and thing.”
Me,”What way can a newcomer uses their background to help the community and are they able to easily?” Michelle, “ A new person can contribute a lot like helping the community helping with the service technology, banners, I had a background in parties and I have done a lot of party planning and thing.”
Me, “Does a newcomer have to dramatically change their life to join this community, and if so how hard has it been for you?” Michelle, “No not at all other then going to church on Saturday if your use to Sunday.”
ReplyDeleteAfter interviewing Michelle I am convinced she loves this community and even as a newcomer feels absolutely attached to it. She used family a lot and was smiling and happy while talking about her new community.
Bethel seems to be a loving, close nit group of people and all seem to care about each other
and genuinely want to be around each other, but how did the community get formed? I mean there is such larger communities around this one what caused them to bond together and form Bethel? Where did the ant hill come from and why?
The History
The journey of tracing the history of my community Bethel Seventh-Day Adventist Church has led me to find out many interesting facts. I have found that many of the people I interact with every week are actually responsible for the beginning of this community. Many people I know personally were also apart of the beginning of the community of which I have been apart of for over 3 yrs now and am currently the leader of.
The journey begins with me using the resources around me, the current members. I called our clerk and asked her who are oldest and founding members. She gave me the name of four members she knew of. One of them Elder Bowen the former Head Elder and the man responsible for bringing me to this church has dementia and unfortunately is no help. It is very sad since he played one of the most important roles in starting this church. Another member sister Frost was very sick and I felt guilty interviewing her considering her condition. Actually she was so grateful I called believing I called to pray for her. Truthfully I wasn't aware she was so ill and didn't have the heart to tell her I was calling to interview her for a paper I was writing. The other two however proved very useful. Sister Lampkin and Sister Astwood, who are both very active members in this community and are both very close friends and church family to me. Sister Lampkin said she was just thinking about our history and had a book that had the story of our beginnings. She told me she would get it to me later. So I called sister Astwood and she too led me to the same book that sister Lampkin was mentioning. She was kind enough to lend me her copy with the stiff warning ”You better return this". While glancing through the book she anxiously showed me old pictures of current members and with a smile on her face pointed out member after member. We both laughed while we saw the kid pictures of some and the hairstyles and the always great 20 lbs lighter pictures of our members. It was definitely a bonding moment in her house as we looked through what felt like an old family photo album. After all this is what we are in this community, family. I said goodbye to her and prayed with her sick husband before leaving. The book is an Anniversary paperback Edition filled with pictures of members and their church positions as well as sponsorship ads from local businesses of the time some of which are still in existence now. The item I have searched for is right in the front of the book. A two page article entitled CHURCH HISTORY. This community was started by a few individuals from mainly another larger church in Orlando, Florida called Mt. Sinai. They planned a tent meeting in the area of Eatonville Florida in March 1990. Elder Bowen the man who was the man who brought me into this church and trained me about it was the main person responsible for the beginning of church. His wife and I had to put him in a home for elderly veterans due to his ever growing bout with dementia.
The Advent movement was built on tent efforts and evangelistic campaigns around the country. In these tent efforts Elders and or Pastors lead out in preaching about Christ, Prophecy, and church doctrines. Usually they last for 2 weeks but sometimes for months. At the end of the effort people are invited to be baptized and join the church. If enough are baptized from the effort a company is formed and assigned an elder to lead them. When there are enough baptized members a church is eventually formed.
ReplyDeleteThe Seventh Day Adventist Church began this way. It started as a movement by a man named William Miller who believed Jesus was coming in October 1844. He went around setting up tents and meetings as many people enthusiastically followed him and left there home churches and joined the movement. A small group of believers from different backgrounds and churches grew and grew to become one of if not the fastest growing protestant denomination in the world.
Writings and early use of the printing press also greatly aided in the growth of the movement. Copies of the first Adventist magazines were printed "The Adventist Review" and "The Present Truth” along with pamphlets about prophecies in Daniel and Revelation were used in the meetings. This resulted in many souls joining the church. "In the 1840s, there were only a few hundred Sabbatarians Adventist, but that number grew to 3,500 by 1863 when the Seventh-day Adventist Church was officially established." Lechleitner, Ann Elizabeth. Adventist.org. General Conference of Seventh-Day Adventist, 10 Apr. 2013. Web. 12 Apr. 2013. Seventh-Day Adventist church was known as a cultist religion but now is widely known throughout the world. Its a far cry from its William Millers few followers to its 17,214,683 members as of June 30, 2011 according to “Seventh-day Adventist World Church Statistics.” Adventist.org Office of Archives, Statistics, and Research General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, 4 jan. 2012. Web. 12 Apr. 2013.
Why is all of this relevant to the small community of Bethel Church? Well its history is the same as the denomination it is apart of. Those crusades in Eatonville, Florida from July 16- July 28, 1990 by Elder George Bowens where two people were baptized has now grown to a membership of 108 now in 2013. It has gone from a tent to the Eatonville community center, renting a school Hungerford elementary and even renting a church in Eatonville. Now the church owns its own building and though small it is theirs and they are proud of it. The leadership has also changed from Elders assigned from the mother church to various pastors assigned by the conference governing the church.
I was introduced to this community in 2009 by Elder Bowen the founder and have since joined its membership. I came at a time when its founder was aging and no longer able to lead effectively. I came to Bethel in just enough time for me to be trained by him and take over. As a result of the aging leadership and lack of a full time pastor the membership dwindled. Since me becoming head elder and subsequently its pastor it has been rejuvenated and now more alive then ever. Bethel is currently making plans to build a bigger church building to better serve our growing community. Bethel serves the community it is in and nurtures its members. We all love each other after all Bethel is family.
In every community there is a background, a discourse, people, a story.
Sometimes it takes looking at things with deeper eyes, curious eyes that want to know about them. In this case the community was a little blue house/church in Eatonville, Florida. Full of life, people, and history it is home to many families. But it is only one of many communities some of which you belong too. I love my community known as Bethel Seventh-Day Adventist Church. I hope that somehow pulling back the mound a little and exposing the inside has made you feel apart of this community also. Next time you pass a little blue house on the side of the street think about the community it supports….
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOn Friday, March 22, I went over to Port Charlotte to visit my Aunt and Uncle’s health clinic called Shine Rehab Inc. that is located on 2301 South Tamiami Trail. They are both Registered Physical Therapists (RPT) and they were nice enough to allow me to observe them for a few weeks. I chose to visit their community because it was related to the field that I wish to become a part of in the future. My plan was to become a Physical Therapist Assistant (PTA) and hopefully work with my aunt and uncle in the future.
ReplyDeleteAt 8:15am I got settled in the clinic and began my observation. The first thing I checked was there clinic hours; they open every Monday to Saturday from 8:30am to 5:00pm. So the clinic wasn’t going to open for another 15 minutes, so I asked my uncle why they show up early for work. My uncle explained saying that they need to get all of the patient profiles ready for those who have an appointment today. My uncle also said that they would have to call them to make sure that the patients are aware of today’s appointment. I also asked my uncle where they keep all of the patient’s profiles and where they make the calls. My uncle pointed to a couple of desks that was already beside us here at the clinic. He said that the desks here is where they keep all the information about the patients, the desks were long and had a lot of file cabinets next to it. On the desks I noticed a lot of paper work scattered across the desk, two laptops that are placed in the middle of the two desks, and a calendar on one of the desks. I asked my uncle who sat at the desks and what they do, he told me that they have a secretary and a PTA that run the desks. He added that the secretary keeps track of the clinics bills and taxes while the PTA takes calls and set appointments along with helping us with patients.
At 8:30 the PTA walks in for work as the clinic opens up for business and my aunt and uncle said good morning as she walked in, I sat in the waiting room which was where the two desks where stationed. So I introduced myself to her and explained my reason for visiting the clinic. I also asked the PTA if she would allow me to observe her for a while because I told her that I wanted to become a PTA. Her name was Linda and she happily accepted my request and she began to sit down at her desk where the calendar was placed. She started to look at her calendar and immediately picked up the phone to make a call. I came around the desk and took a seat on the secretary’s chair to listen in on the conversation. After a few rings on the phone someone picked up the phone and the PTA began to speak to whoever was on the other line. The PTA started off the conversation by saying hello and good morning. After the morning greet the PTA continued talking and was talking about an appointment. I continued to listen carefully and I heard that the person on the phone will be here at the clinic at 9:00am for the appointment, as they continued to talk I saw the PTA writing down a bit of information on the calendar. I leaned over to her side of the desk to see what she wrote on the calendar, all she wrote was a time and the name of the person she was currently talking to. The patients name was Matt and she scheduled an appointment for today at 9:00am. I looked at my cell phone to check the time; it was 8:38, so the patient named Matt will be here at the clinic in the next 22 minutes. After the PTA was done talking to Matt on the phone she hung up and got off her chair to walk over to the file cabinets that were to the left of her desk. The file cabinet had three drawers; one of each placed on top each other. She opened up the drawer that was in the middle and was going through a lot of folders; she pulled out a folder, I assumed was Matt’s profile as the PTA placed it on her desk. It was 8:41 and I wasn’t going to sit at the desk doing nothing, so I got up and decided to take a look around the clinic. The clinic was really big, it had about eight rooms and five of them were used for patients and each of them had a therapy bed for patients to lay on; one of the rooms had a lot of exercise equipment, some that I recognized from the gym, another room was an office for my aunt and uncle, and the last room was in the back of the clinic that had a small kitchen and sink with a mid-sized table with four chairs.
ReplyDeleteAfter going through all the rooms I went back to the PTA to see if the 9:00 appointment had showed up, I looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall behind the PTA’s desk and noticed that it was 9:05, but not a lot of people show up on time. At 9:08 a man walks in with his wife and I assumed it was Matt who had called earlier about the appointment. He sat down in the waiting room and minutes later the PTA directs the patient into one of the rooms and asks the patient how he was doing. The PTA had a folder that had the patients name on it; I stood next to her and took a look at her clipboard. It was a sheet with writing on it, the first thing I saw was his name and his actual name was Matthew Stevenson, age 52, along with his address, social security number, etc. The sheet also said that Matthew had issues with his left hamstring. At 9:16, my aunt comes in and begins to have a conversation with Matthew as she puts on gloves. My aunt was asking Matthew how he was doing and how has his leg been treating him. My aunt then told Matthew how she will be doing therapy on the leg. The therapy began at 9:21 and I decided to observe them, my aunt helped Matthew lay flat on his belly on the massage table so she could start massaging. She began putting some lotion and I had asked her what was in it and she told me it was just a mix of lotion and bio-freeze. I looked closely as the therapy began and my aunt started off on the semimembranosus hamstring, as she was massaging she was quizzing me on how far I knew about muscles. I knew most of the muscles she pointed out to me using the patient’s body. She told me that it is very important to know most of the muscles of the entire body because she was tested on those back in her days in college and she also mentioned that it was a bit hard for her to remember all of those muscles when it came to the tests. As the therapy continued my aunt was hitting the right spots on the hamstrings using her thumbs, the patient was in relief as he kept on saying “oh yea, that’s spot”. My aunt was doing a very good job taking care of the patient; she was being meticulous on her massaging since she doesn’t want to hear the patient in pain. The therapy session took about an hour and ended at 10:25. After the therapy session my aunt was talking to Matthew about the next appointment, after my aunt took care of Matthew, my aunt called me over to the PTA’s desk where she was standing next to the PTA. She had Matthews profile and showed me what she does after taking care of a patient. My aunt writes a bit of a summary of what happened today on the folder, she wrote down that Matthew’s left leg was doing well and that he needed a few more weeks to be healthy again; she also added that there will be another appointment with Matthew on Monday at 11:30am.
ReplyDeleteAt 10:38, I decided to a look around the clinic and found myself in the PT office where my uncle was and I decided to overlook him, he was also adding information about his patients just like their PTA. Then later on his patient walks in at 10:45 along with a few others that also had appointments. I didn’t want to observe because it was going to be the same therapy session as the one my aunt was recently doing to her patient. It took hours for all patients to be dealt with and I observed one of them as it happened. By 11:54 everyone was finished and it was lunch time, so they took me out to lunch. As we were in the car on our way to the mall for lunch I was looking out the window to see the community around Shine Rehab and the whole area looked really old, I did not see any new buildings, all of the stores we aged because their store name had lost color over the years including the building itself. I looked at the cars around me and there were a lot of old people driving them, even the roads were old and cracked. I could easily tell that the whole town was old. As we got to the mall I can see a few senior citizens walking around and talking to each other. As me, my aunt and uncle got to the food court several people came up to us and said hello. Those people knew my aunt and uncle because they were old patients of theirs. They had a little conversation talking to each other about how life has been treating them. After the conversation we got out food and sat down in the food court, as we ate more people stopped by to say hello to my aunt and uncle. I was surprised by the amount of people that knew my aunt and uncle, everyone that came by greet them were really friendly and most of them were old. I asked my aunt why a lot of people remember you guys. She told me that seven years ago they had a previous clinic in Port Charlotte, only smaller. Many of their patients used to go there for therapy and once in a while my aunt and uncle would have a party at their house or at the clinic and they would always invite them, so they would get to know their patients a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteAround 1:07pm we came back from lunch and my aunt had one more patient coming in at 1:30 before we close up the clinic. At 1:38 her patient comes in and my aunt told me that this patient’s condition was different from the other and this patient was really that old, probably in her late 40’s I would say. So I waited in one of the rooms until my aunt and her patient walked in, as the therapy session began it started off with a deep massage for about 25 minutes and then my aunt took her patient to the exercise room to have the patient do some routines and stretching. At 2:10 my aunt was finished with her patient and told me that she had no more appointments for today.
7:30am Saturday, March 23, 2013
ReplyDeleteThe following day was a new day at shine rehab, I stayed at my aunt and uncles place for the night and came to work with them the next morning. We all arrived at the clinic at 7:30, an hour before they open for business. When I walked in I went to the PTA’s desk to check out the schedule and I noticed that there wasn’t as much appointments compared to yesterday. The schedule showed a few appointments that said “Outside Checkups” and I wondered what that meant. So I went to my uncle’s office and asked him about the outside checkups. He told me that there a few of his patients that have no cars, can barely walk, or are disabled. So he has to drive over to their place to do the therapy session. I also asked him if the therapy he does here at the clinic is different when he goes to the patient’s house, he said yes because the patients don’t have the same equipment they use here at the clinic and that his therapy sessions are mostly exercises. I asked him if I could come along with him to his outside checkups and observe him as he works. He allowed me to tag along and told me to help him out pack a few equipment’s to his car because he is going to need it when he goes over to his patient’s house and he told me his first outside checkup wasn’t until 10:00am according to the schedule. So I ended up packing a bottle of lotion, a large mat, and those exercising equipment that you can hang at the top of the doors. It had a lot of elastic cords with handle bars at the end of it so I assumed the patient has a bit of problems of the upper chest.
After I stored the needed equipment into the trunk of my uncle’s car I looked at my phone to check the time and it was a little bit after 8:30, so it was about time to open up the clinic and start the day off. I checked the schedule again and noticed that there wasn’t going to be an appointment until 9:45. So I went to look for my aunt and asked her if there was anything I could do as we wait for the 9:45 patient to come in. She told me that there are a few things she wanted me to do because Saturday is the PTA’s day off. So right now my aunt is a bit short handed, usually the PTA prepares the therapy rooms before we opened up and since we had an hour till the next appointment I had time to set up the rooms. She taught me how to set up the rooms by having all the bottles of lotion and bio-freeze ready and placed on the shelf, she also taught me how to set the table beds up by covering it with these sheet covers and the pillows. She told me to always replace the sheets after she or my uncle are done with a patient. It was 9:21 and my uncle called me over to show me something on his laptop. He was typing in some information on this program and told me that this was the patient he will be visiting at 10. The information he was putting in was simple, putting in the full name, age, condition, sex, etc. The patient was a 57 year old male named Calvin Reese. The problem he was having was the upper region of his back and left shoulder, there was other information showing that he just recently became a patient. He became a patient of my uncles just a few days ago after he called to make an appointment.
After he finished with Calvin’s profile, my uncle taught me how to do it by putting in information on another new patient. It was 9:48 on the clock and I didn’t get to finish the profile because my uncle said we were going to run late if we didn’t leave now. So my and I uncle left and it took about 15 minutes to get to the patients house. It was 10:05, just a little bit late but it was not a problem for Calvin who was already waiting for us outside his porch. I noticed that he did have a car so I’m guessing that he couldn’t drive because of his shoulder. So my uncle introduced me to Calvin and told him that I was only here to observe and to help out a little bit. So me and my uncle took the equipment out of the trunk and headed into Calvin’s house. I was walking behind my uncle and Calvin as they walked into a bed room and was listening to their conversation. My uncle was asking how Calvin was doing and he was also telling him what was going to happen today for the therapy. He told Calvin that he would be massaging him for a while just to relax his upper body and later on they would be doing a few exercises. At 10:13 I began to observe carefully on the massaging and my uncle started off by putting some bio-freeze and some lotion together on Calvin’s back and began massaging his left shoulder. He was massaging parts of the shoulder and was being very meticulous for about 4 minutes each and then he began to go a little lower his shoulder. The patient sounded really calm and relaxed as if he was in paradise and told my uncle that he was really good. It was 10:40 and the massaging part was done for today and my uncle asked me to hang that door attachment with the elastic bands on the door of the bedroom. My uncle had asked Calving to stand vertically in front of the door and grab a handle with the elastic cords and pull the cord medially with his left arm. I quickly asked him what he meant by medially and told me that it means to move a body part towards the mid line of your body. My uncle instructed Calvin to do other exercises with and without the door attachment. It was 11:03 and my uncle had just finished the therapy with Calvin. I heard them talking as I was putting the equipment back into my uncles car and they were talking about their next appointment which was going to be on Tuesday but I didn’t hear a time of when the appointment was going to happen. So we left to head back to the clinic.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got back to the clinic at 11:37 and there were two old people in the waiting room and my aunt had just finished with a session with a patient. I immediately went into the room she just had her patient in and began to replace all the sheets from the bed to pillows and disposed the ones the patient was on. I did the same on the next room as my uncle took in the other patient who was also waiting in the waiting room. At 11:50 I was done replacing the sheets and every patient got into their rooms for therapy. A few minutes later, my aunt called me into her room because she really wanted to show me how she will take care of her patient. I had asked her what’s the condition of her patient and she told that the patient had problems with her neck and lower back. She also added that most of her patients have issues with the neck and back. So I decided to stay and observe my aunt and her patient and at 12:00pm my aunt started off putting on gloves and adding the mixture of lotion and bio-freeze on the patient. I asked my aunt how she takes care of those kinds of patients with neck and back pains. She told me that she performs deep tissue massages, and deep tissue massage techniques usually involve slow strokes, direct pressure or friction movements that go across the grain of the muscles using their fingers, thumbs, or occasionally elbows to apply the needed pressure for the muscles. As my aunt was massaging the patient’s neck the patient seemed in a bit of pain, my aunt was having a conversation talking about stretching every morning to loosen the muscles to avoid any tension. The patient was confessing how she hasn’t been doing much stretching and how she is strongly considering stretching every day. My aunt massaged deeply into the patient’s trapezius muscle, scalene muscles and the levator scapulae muscle, at first I had no idea where it was at on the neck, so my aunt showed me as she was massaging them. At 12:33 my aunt began to massage the lower back of the patient. My aunt began to massage the sacrum part of the back and she mostly used her thumbs to get deep into the patient’s lower back to hopefully to loosen the tightness. She then worked on the external and internal oblique of the back where the patient pointed out where the pain was coming from along with the erector spinae muscle. By 1:07 my aunt had just finished the therapy with the patient and then they began talking about their next appointment along with tips to stretching out the neck and back. Minutes later I see my uncle walking out the therapy room with his patient also talking about their next appointment. After all the patients left I asked my aunt how often to their patients visit for their appointment. They told me their patients visit twice a week and sometimes three times if the treatment is needed. At 1:15 I checked if there were any more appointments left for today and I noticed that there was one more patient coming in at 3:30 right after lunch break. After lunch, we came back to the clinic at 2:47 and my aunt had told me to change the sheets in the therapy room they were using for their last patients. At 2:53 I heard the phone ring at the PTA’s desk and my uncle answered the phone and I came over to listen to the conversation. I heard my uncle talking about the appointment today and he was looking down on the desk where the schedule was and then began writing a bit of information down for next week on Monday. After the phone call I asked my uncle who that was and he informed me saying that it was the 3:30 patient calling to cancel todays appointment and asking to reschedule it to Monday. So my uncle then told me that we were done for the day and later on we closed up the clinic a little early at 3:22.
ReplyDeleteMichelle T Balaban
ReplyDeleteEthnography - Draft 3
1.Every woman loves her kitchen, but to have “kitchen hair” is a disgrace! And who doesn’t love spaghetti, but having “spaghetti ends” is a disaster! Welcome to the colorful world of beauty. Cosmetologists and Barber/stylists are the women and men that devote talent, time and knowledge to make us look our best for a culture that grades us on our appearance, the artists whose medium of choice is not paint and canvas but the human body. Included in the field are Stylists, Makeup Artists, Nail Technicians, Estheticians, Barbers, and Massage Therapists.
2. Located in a part of the Oviedo Mall that sat vacant, today, the Paul Mitchell School buzzes with students dashing here and there as clients enter with high expectations; Paul Mitchell is one of the greatest names in the business. The students are the beautiful people, with exotic colored hair, makeup and “dos” resembling shadowy physicians donned in black with black gloves and aprons. The color black has a purpose in this community, it serves as the backdrop for the guest so that they remain the focus. Despite the amount of people present, it appears clean, neat, sleek and trendy. Oversized posters of surreal beauties with flowing locks and edgy cuts grace the walls. Black chairs, stainless steel work areas, metal trash cans and long mirrors everywhere; the scheme is industrial. The aroma of hair products and singed hair permeate the air. A chorus of blow dryers hum and hands move quickly as students manipulate the hair to straight perfection or ever so gentle waves. Clients (guests) sit with layers of tiny foil “shingles “ attached to their hair to attain the highlights nature did not give them, lowlights for texture or perhaps the last trend, “Ombre”, a combination of dark to light colors.
3. To my surprise, many of the students and staff are male, but I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Andrea Ramirez is my informant, successful, talented stylist and Learning Leaders (instructor) for the Paul Mitchell School for over six years. She works with “Phase II” students (pre-graduates) and oversees that department. Many distorted conversations from all parts of the salon blend into the thumping Techno music in the background. I spot Andrea who is huddled with two Future Professions (students). The drama begins as a bride and her mother enter in a tizzy. Mom tells their tale of the salon that has ruined her daughter’s wedding day. The bride sits silently as her mother rambles on, she pulls the curls hanging off the back of her head, “Have you ever seen anything more hideous?” she exclaims. Andrea smiles and escorts Mom to a station where a Future Professional begins working her magic on the offensive updo. Andrea turns her attention to the bride, puts her hand on her shoulder, “Don’t worry, we’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy on this most important day of your life.” The bride relaxes slightly, but her phone is relentless. Her babysitter is anxious to leave, and with a deep sigh, she drops her face into her hands, the Future Professional begins her work.
4. Andrea rolls her eyes, fakes a grin and makes her way toward me as I reflect on the professionalism I just witnessed. I am so proud of her. We sneak away to a quiet corner to begin our interview. “The thing I love most about being a stylist is that it is an art form, but you get to help people and the pay is excellent. When someone comes in with a challenge I want to be the one with a solution. As an educator, it amazes me to see the personal growth as well as the technical development that people are able to achieve in a mere 1200 hour program. In the beginning, it isn’t easy as you build your clientele, but when you’re busy and your book is full (of appointments) you feel amazing!”
5. Andrea’s interest in the arts have given her the tools to make it in this highly competitive community. Her creativity is evident in her work attire, embellishing her black and white required clothing with interesting jewelry, trendy hair and makeup, down to her knee high boots. A sleeve tattoo of Stargazer Lilies and vines cover her left arm; she has a peacock, her personal mascot, from ankle to calf. The butterfly on her elbow was done in memory of her grandmother.
ReplyDelete6. One of the Future Professionals stands nearby, with her hands behind her and eyes wide, she nervously taps her foot. Mom has chosen a hairstyle exactly like her daughter’s, the bride. Andrea excuses herself and turns her attention once again to the tearful bride as she buries her face in tissues. With a nod, she escorts her to the makeup area where the girls have been informed of the situation, they gently remove the phone from her hand and begin massaging her face as they apply foundation. The bride melts into the oversized black chair and finally begins to enjoy the pampering they offer. Andrea takes a comb and adjusts Mom’s hair, altering it enough to make it unique from the bride’s. She whispers to her, and shortly after, Mom leaves the establishment.
7. Andrea and I begin our tour. A middle-aged woman is seated at a station where a tall, slender young man wearing black rimmed glasses assess her hair. “Is he a cosmetologist?” I inquire. “He is a barber/stylist, they are licensed to work on men and woman.” she replies as she approaches the Learning Leader of that department, Ricky. They briefly exchange and his face immediately lights up. Ricky approaches me with his hand held out and a warm smile, “Hello Andrea’s mom, it’s nice to finally meet you, I’m Ricky.”
8. My eyes are drawn to the perfect fauxhawk perched on top of his head. His dark hair and features meticulously groomed, a flawless line outline his jaw, he is dressed in a white shirt, black leather vest, black pants and shoes. “Hair has always been my passion. My mom owned a salon, my grandmother was a stylist. I’ve always been intrigued with it. I love that it’s an art or rather a craft that I can make money with and one day own my own business. I worked at Kmart once, but that didn’t pan out. I also love that I can put a price on my work. As I perfect my craft, I can charge a hundred bucks if I’m good enough. That gives me a sense of pride.” “What is it you love most about being a Barber/stylist?” I ask. Ricky pauses for a moment, “As a barber, I love ‘line ups’. Men can’t wear makeup, so I show them how to use their facial hair to complement their looks, you know, like how to use the hair to contour the face and make it appear longer or slimmer or how to enunciate features and bone structure.” using his forefinger and thumb, he traces the cheek and jaw area of his face.
9. “What about the prejudices against men in this industry, how do they affect you?” I continue. Ricky’s demeanor changes slightly as his brow furrows, he crosses his arms. “It’s not so much as being male, but as being a barber in general. We are very underestimated. We are not expected to know “scissor” only razor. That’s always been a big issue. But in the barber shop environment, we are respected for our skills in fades, shears and “edging”. This place is dominated by cosmetologists, so we are the underdogs.” Ricky’s face softens as he continues. With his eyes fixed, he keeps one arm folded and with the other hand, makes a fist, “Mentally, it makes me want to prove myself. In the men’s industry we are respected and considered professionals. Here, we don’t really fit in, it is in the urban industry where we get our respect. I feel we are bringing our art to the “corporate” world proving ourselves in this business.” One of Ricky’s students waits patiently for him as we speak, he politely excuses himself. Andrea and I continue our tour. “Have you met Michael yet?”
10. I ask about the distressed bride. “She loved the results, all she needed was for her mom to leave!” Andrea and I giggle, Michael approaches. He wears a black turtleneck with a pin the reads “Daymaker”. His youthful glow and bubbly personality say it all. “At first, I was more interested in interior design and fashion. I also model so they were forever changing my hairstyle and color and doing highlights on me since 15 years old. But at 16, I went black and kept it that way ever since.” He runs his hand through the thick, waves. “I started out doing my sister’s hair. I like the environment of being a cosmo, in this business you can implement your own creativity through fashion and style.” “What is your favorite thing about being a cosmetologist?” I inquire. Michael takes a seat on the long black bench next to me. He twists his arms and legs as if trying to restrain his excitement, “The title of being a daymaker, not just a student. As a daymaker, I am able to do makeovers and I see the satisfaction and self-esteem of the client just go through the roof!” He opens both hands, fingers straight up on either side of his head as he smiles widely.
ReplyDelete12. “Is it harder being male in this field rather than female?” I continue. Michael tilts his head and clasps both hands in front of him, “Honestly, female clients tip me higher. They are more comfortable with me because they do not see me as competition, rather, an enhancer. I see them from a male perspective, like when I’m blow-drying a woman’s hair; I show them what feels nice to the touch, what a male would like. When they are with a female cosmo, they tend to compare themselves to her and her fashion, but with a male, it becomes all about them.”
13. “Do you feel there is the stereotype that you are gay because you are in this business?” I add. Michael stands, his hand are out to his sides,“I think that in their minds they (guests) want to think I’m gay cuz it makes them feel safer, like I’m not gonna hit on them or anything (he giggles). It’s bothersome only in the way that it shouldn’t matter about my personal life, it should be about my professionalism, my craft, and what I can do with hair, makeup, extensions, nails, pedicures, facials, stylish cuts, color and “blonding”. He nods his head, his mischievous smile widens into a toothy grin, he nods again. As Andrea approaches, Michael waves and disappears into a crowd.
14. I decide to walk over to the area where I entered as I arrived. “Phase I” (skill practice) has many stations where Future Professionals practice cut and color. Michael is waving from the laundry room, I observe as he neatly folds clean towels. In the midst of our conversation, the Learning Leader from that department, Felix, passes quickly using long strides. “You should interview him!” says Michael as he points, Felix is clocking his time card. He wears a black jacket, black shirt, pants and shoes. A loose red necktie stands out strikingly against the monochromatic ensemble. He wears fingerless gloves, not to be mistaken for the Madonna type, they are more like fine work gloves. His ear lobes are gauged, hair cropped short and his face is clean shaven. I introduce my self and ask if I may interview him for this piece. He smiles, his eyes are piercing, “Sure.” He replies as he straightens his stance, folding his hands in front of him and adjusting his shoulders.
15. “What made you become a cosmetologist?” I begin. Felix smiles and looks down, he rubs his chin with his forefinger and thumb, “It’s a pretty funny story actually. I worked construction and drove big trucks for most of my life until I found myself unable to find work. An ex-girlfriend suggested I take a look at the school since I liked doing my own hair. I was hooked and never left.” I shake my head in agreement, “Nice! So what’s your favorite thing about being a cosmo?” I continue. Without skipping a beat he replies, “I like making people pretty.” His eyebrows are raised, he continues to rub his chin with his forefinger, “Has being a male in the industry been a positive or negative experience?” Felix’s eyes widen, “Definitely positive. The wide variety of women that are available, they never run out and if things don’t work out, I can change real quick.” I laugh out loud at his frankness, I love this guy!
ReplyDelete16. “What about stereotypes, do you find that in this business?” I query, raising my eyebrows in anticipation of his response. Felix straightens his posture, he crosses his arms causing the sleeves of his jacket to tighten revealing the developed muscles of his biceps, “Yes, people presume me to be gay once they find out I do hair, like I play for the other team. But I don’t care, I’m secure in myself and don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I wear lip gloss and everything! I really don’t care.” He tosses his head back and lets out a quick breath. “Hmf!” he adds as a devious smile emerges from the corner of his mouth. His answer does not disappoint. I recall he is on the clock and presumed to be working; I am saddened by the time constraint. I shake my head, “I must say, you have been my favorite interview so far, honest and to the point.” Felix laughs and shakes my hand just as he convenes with another Leaning Leader.
17. I quickly make my way back to Andrea who is at the hair color station with a few of her co-workers. As we continue our tour, she takes me to the classrooms. “Saynora” is blaring through the hallway. “What’s going on in here?” I ask as I peer inside to see a row a Future Professionals dancing in front of a flat screen T.V. The Learning Leader of that department, Toni, approaches. She shakes my hand and begins explaining, “During Core, we often let students chose a song to get up and move to after lunch. It helps prevent the “down” most of us get after we eat. I provide moral boosting, I have visuals I use to help students feel confident in this business and build positive energy. We use the term F.A.C.E., which is Find someone doing the right thing, Acknowledge them, Celebrate and Enjoy the victory.” She goes on to talk about the theory behind keeping a positive, energetic atmosphere to raise self-esteem and the techniques she uses to help students learn to deal with obnoxious guests. The hall becomes crowded as groups of students move from one area to the next, Andrea and I continue our tour to the practice room where hands-on education is taking place. There are motivational posters on the walls and one that reads, “Stylists are not born, they are groomed”
18. Andrea points to a group of students, most of them are female. At the center is Codi, who is flat-ironing the hair of one of his classmates. Codi wears a black fitted T-Shirt and black jeans with a belt buckle reminiscent of brass knuckles. His makeup accentuates his angelic features, he has two labret piercings on either side of his mouth, his hair is an edgy, multi-layered cut he did himself with burgundy lowlights. His earrings are almost shoulder length, he wears a chain necklace. His androgynous beauty blurs the boundary between male and female. Andrea interrupts their conversation to ask if Codi would agree to an interview. He looks up from his work with a smile and nods. He brushes his long bangs aside and walks with perfect posture, head held high. I introduce myself and we shake hands. Cody crosses one arm and firmly holds the other above his elbow.
19. “So, Cody, why do you want to become a cosmetologist?” His face lights up and a grins from ear to ear, “In high school, people came to me for hair and makeup. I did proms and dramas at school and people knew I enjoyed doing hair and makeup because I always experimented on my own hair. I tried the healthcare profession, but it didn’t work out. I see my future in movies, doing that special effect makeup. I really want to help burn victims. I once knew a girl whose face was burned on one side. It was heartbreaking to see her walk the halls with her head down and her hair covering her face. My dream is to bring back the confidence they (burn victims) once had in themselves through special effects makeup. Codi’s response leaves me momentarily at a loss for words. “That is a very noble intention.” I reply. Codi looks down rubbing his arm with his hand. He looks up with a smile and continues, “ I love meeting new people and texturizing hair with cuts and colors and creating my own styles. I like expressing my creativity with disproportion cuts that really stand out.” He holds both hands out, palms up.
ReplyDelete20. I add, “Like yours, you did that yourself?” Codi tilts his head, one eye is barely visible between the strands of his hair, “Yes”, he replies looking down again. “What about stereotypes, do you find people assume you are gay because you are in this business?” He raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes. He is nodding, “Although there is much drama in this business, I find that people here are very accepting. The stereotype of being gay is always there and it can be frustrating at times, but I don’t let that impact my life. That’s why I don’t worry about it; I’m here to fulfill my dreams.” He holds his hand near his heart, pulling his shoulders back with a satisfied grin. “I wish you all the luck in the world and expect to see you in the movies one day!” I tell him. We shake hands as he politely thanks me.
21. As I say my goodbyes and thank the people who took the time to talk with me, I am awed at the accomplishment of the two men responsible for starting it all. When I researched Paul Mitchell Schools and its founders, I was impressed that there is little “hoopla” in the history accounts, rather bareboned facts about these men.
Meet the founders
22. It all began with $700.00 and a dream. Cyril (Paul) Thompson Mitchell and a friend John Paul Dejoria desired to create hair products that did not use animal testing. These products are still available today, but the empire is worth an estimated $900 million annually!
23. Paul Mitchell was born in Scotland and after two unfulfilling years of learning to smith silver, he followed in his mother’s footsteps to join the world of cosmetology. He studied under Vidal Sassoon, then, moved to the United States where he opened a successful chain of salons. He has one son, Angus, who is co-owner and very involved in his father’s legacy. He has become successful stylists in his own right. Paul Mitchell passed away in 1989.
24. Paul Dejoria is an American. His mother was a Greek immigrant and his father, an Italian immigrant. His mom and dad divorced when he was very young. His mother couldn’t support the family and as a result, he grew up in foster care. He was basically a street thug, until a math teacher told him he would never amount to anything. He became an employee of Redken Laboratory and because of a dispute, was fired. He and his friend Paul Mitchell borrowed $700.00 to begin creation of the three products that started it all; “The Shampoo”, “The Conditioner” and “The Sculpting Lotion”.
25. Paul Mitchell Schools are an extension of the dream and dedication to make our world a beautiful place. Part of the their giving culture include “Grow Appalachia” that offers skills and resources for healthy foods that feed the elderly and disabled in Appalachia, “The Blue Project” that helps preserves and protects our oceans, and “The ‘Fun’raising Project” that help builds homes for needy families, feed hungry children and supports victims of abuse.
ReplyDelete26. Men like Paul and John Paul have paved the way for aspiring males in this business. Are these males all gay as society once believed? Men in this industry have always faced the stereotype associated with careers in this industry, despite that fact, there is a definite rise in males becoming cosmetologists and barbers/stylists at the Paul Mitchell School.
27. Men have various reasons for entering a world that until recently has been primarily targeted at women. One can walk through any department store and see the trend in male beauty products and the focus moving toward men by the beauty industry. Paul Mitchell recently launched a line of products and grooming tools solely for men, called Mitch. It has become socially acceptable for man to have manicured nails for instance, that in my day, would have raised an eyebrow or two. The beauty industry is very accepting and very diverse, only a few of the reasons men feel comfortable here. Acceptance in the beauty industry came about long before society accepted diversity in our society. The definition of beauty varies from culture to culture and there is no other place I know that demonstrates that fact like the Paul Mitchell school and its inhabitants.
28. Whether straight or gay, men in the world of beauty are here to stay. They have found acceptance and purpose. They use their talents to “make people pretty.” as Felix would say and to show off their creativity and artistic abilities in living, breathing masterpieces. They give women insight into the minds of men, and help us see what men define as beauty rather than the media. In the words of Henry Torres, Director of Operations and personal friend of the owners, the Vieglios, “John Paul is constantly reinventing himself and this business. He has truly created a culture here and people like it.”
29. I hope one day the stereotype of men in this industry will finally disappear and these talented artists will receive the recognition they deserve in a world that in the past has been dominated by women. Females can be our own toughest critics try to force us into a preconceived mold that most “regular” women will never fit into. Men are reinventing themselves and in the process redefining beauty and as a woman, I like it.
I will do the peer review for Andre Grace.
ReplyDeleteI will do the peer review for Michelle Balaban.
ReplyDeleteThe Pursuit of Chase
ReplyDeleteThe Building Contradicts the Vibe
Tucked away in the heart of Lake Mary, Florida, down a cramped anfractuous street rests a line-up of horrifyingly daunting buildings. This row of buildings is known as Business Boulevard to those who work in one of the buildings or know of them. One of these buildings holds the title of the Chase Card Services call center. This building has many windows but each of these windows blind onlookers of the building with glass that you can only view out of from the inside. This building is solidly built with a sturdy exterior of brick and caulking that holds it all together. It gives the feeling of a place that isn’t going anywhere in the near future or any time after that.
The Chase Card Services call center gives off a vibe of fear and almost a sense of hopelessness (a grey building with windows) from the outside but as soon as you step foot through the two security doors, you must swipe an ID card to get through; the full toothed grin of a security guard meets you at the front desk. This guard smiling in such a way diminishes the hopeless and fearsome vibe that this building puts off from the outside. The front desk sits in the middle of a grand hall type of a room with a fearsome eagle statue at the head of it
If you listen closely, you will hear nothing but a janitor whistling an extremely soft, rhythmic, melodic tune that echoes down each corridor and into each room. These things may lead to the question “Where did this all come from and how did it start?”
ReplyDeleteThe Establishment of Chase
JP Morgan Chase’s other namesake predecessor, JP Morgan & Company, was founded in New York in 1871 as Drexel, Morgan & Company by J Pierpont Morgan and Philadelphia banker, Anthony Drexel. This partnership initially served for Europeans investing in the United States. This ultimately raised much of the capital to support American industrial expansion. It did not take long for the Drexel-Morgan partnership to establish itself as the nation’s pre-eminent private domestic and foreign bank. The first big splash the firm made was in 1879 when it sold William Vanderbilt’s New York Central Railroad without driving down the share price. This deal involved the largest block of stock that was ever offered at that time. This deal was a huge success and emphasized Morgan’s strength as a mobilizer. From that point forward, the Morgan firm was closely associated with the railroad industry. From then on J Pierpont and his partner became one of the most well known banks and financers. Today, JPMorgan Chase is a leading global financial services firm with operations in more than 50 countries and has its corporate headquarters in New York City still. CEO Jamie Dimon’s vision is to ensure excellent customer service within all the companies’ subsidiaries, however how can he ensure the quality of service he expects is being provided within all lines of businesses.
The Call Center in Lake Mary is just a small part of the company however the center supports a large volume of inbound and outbound calls within the United States and Overseas. To narrow the focus down even more, the “600 building” as it is called is primarily the customer support division (otherwise known as the collections department). Each floor has a security system to protect consumer information. Each employee must badge in to get to his or her desk. The variety of individuals who work for this center range from ages as young as 20 to the mature individual of 72; is it possible to meet the CEO Jamie Dimon’s dream of achieving world class customer service in a collections environment?
ReplyDeleteListening to a collection call is like listening to a song over and over again. A scripted dialogue that includes regulation and compliance wording such as “this call is recorded or monitored” before the call even starts and specific expectations of the agent to collect on past due payments creates the appearance of a stressful atmosphere. Guidelines are set for a call flow from the performance improvement team however the team does not consult with agents to understand if the recommended call flow establishes a rapport with the customer. Each agent has his or her own tone, rate of speech, and empathetic ear toward the customer’s situation. The call can be as simple as “oh I forgot to pay my bill, can you process that now?” to the much deeper challenge of a job loss and the uncertainty of how the bills will be paid. Listening and observing the variety of calls led to the conclusion that some agents are about finding the paying customer and not bothering with the ones who can’t, while others take the time to listen and use the literary and non literary tools to help the customer in his or her time of need.
The agent who looks for the paying customer appears to have an agenda “getting the payment to ensure a large bonus payout.” The agent who asks the “probing questions” to understand the customer’s situation takes longer on his or her calls and explores all options (payment programs etc) to find the right solution for the customer. With each agent having a different approach, using the auto dialer system (as they call it) to make the automatic calls leaves an opening for a customer who is truly in need to be at the mercy of the individual who makes the call. With this variety of approach, how can we ensure that world class service is being provided to each customer. Well upon further research it was determined that the compliance script “this call is recorded or monitored” is true in fact. The Team Manager’s have the ability to listen to the agent calls and provide real time feedback to the agents on how they did with the calls; however not all managers provide the level of coaching and development necessary to obtain the world class service expectation.
A meeting with the leader of one of the units shed to light the expectations of the managers. The Team Leader as they are called is also expected to provide guidance and direction to the managers to ensure the agents provide world class service, but the particular unit was a little more complex due to the nature of the customer, affluent customers. Although the regulation, compliance, and call flow scripting is the same, the expectation of the agent to establish a strong rapport with the customer is critical. The Team Leader provided insight that the customers handled in the department can cause reputational risk to the company. What I walked away with was a customer with a strong relationship with the company (large checking account, investment accounts, mortgage, etc) must be handled with care. This form of customer not only can remove their assets with the firm, but if the customer is an influential person, he or she can very easily question the reputation of the firm causing reputational damage. The Team Leader went on to explain how she works with her managers in a proactive manner to ensure all transactions go smoothly for the customer reducing the risk of a negative experience.
The thought was though, how would the customer know if he or she is receiving world class service if they are not aware of any proactive measures that are taking place to ensure there is no interruption of service for a missed payment. The Team Leader also went on to explain that this new proactive concept is being mirrored throughout many departments, but once again, how can the customer know he or she is receiving world class service.
ReplyDeleteUpon further research into the department, I stumbled upon a group of individuals who were making courtesy calls to customers to alert them of a missed payment. This action step was to reach the customer before he or she went out to use the card and was declined at point of sale. The objective of this group is to save the customer from being placed in an embarrassing situation. Listening to these calls was very eye opening. The customer was very appreciative and could not believe the agent was taking the time to see if he or she received their statement because they had never missed their payment, to ensure the customer did not go to use the card and was placed in an awkward situation. Each call was very pleasant and you could tell the customer had somewhat of a wow this is different tone in his or her voice. When posing the question “do any of the customers ever get mad about the call?” the response was very rarely is there an upset customer due to the literary scripting provided to aid in having a successful conversation.
Moving to more conversation with the manager, the manager spoke about the portions of the call flow that the agent can make his or her own and the mandatory (regulatory) portion of the call in which the agent must say in the call. There is a scoring system to the call in which if the agent does not say the regulatory piece, they fail the call and can potentially be reprimanded for his or her actions. The regulatory piece is mandated by the government so if the agent does not apply this literary piece to the call, it places the firm at risk.
Quality monitoring is not only done by the manager, but also by a Quality Team. This team randomly pulls calls to ensure the agents are in compliance. Unable to dig deep into this world due to proprietary information, I was able to get a different perspective of the call. This perspective was from an unbiased party who does not know the agent or manager. Their job is to just listen to the call and determine was the call world class, good, o.k., or really in need of some work. Being an unbiased individual you hear things such as the advisor’s tone, whether he or she was empathetic to the customer’s situation, did he or she provide the right solution if any at all and was there a positive outcome at the end of the call. For individuals who really provided excellent service, the agent was sent a congratulatory certificate outlining the parts in the call where he or she excelled, but on the other hand, if the agent became combative with the customer, this information was brought to the manager’s attention immediately to be dealt with.
After spending the day in this department, I was able to achieve a much better understanding of the world of a collection agent. The negative stereo type that goes with the name bill collector is an understatement. To explain this better, the expectation to ensure all regulatory and compliance expectations are met while providing world class service is not an easy task yet some agents make it seem as simple as taking a walk while other agents struggle significantly and have to call on a variety of tools necessary to ensure they keep their job. The one thing that stood out the most however was the determination of all to ensure that the ideals of the company are met by the agent and if the agent does not comply with what is required then he or she is at jeopardy of being dismissed.
Spending the day learning about a collection environment was quite interesting. Although I am not of age to obtain any kind of credit, if I were to somehow fall past due as people can at some point in their life, I would know what to expect from the caller who would be trying to collect the payment: regulatory and compliance statements, a good tone, a genuine desire to help and to have me walk away with the feeling of “when I get out of this situation, I want Chase to have all my financial business. I guess this is what the CEO Jamie Dimon is talking about when he says he wants his customers to achieve world class service, because if I walk away from an interaction with an agent wanting the company to have all my business, then in my opinion world class service has been achieved.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I was only able to review one small section of the company (credit card collections), if given the opportunity to visit other departments within the company I would definitely want to see the customer service side of the business. To have the ability to compare just a regular service call to a collection call would be quite interesting. Because of the company expectation, my guess would be the quality of service would more than likely be the same due to all lines of businesses rolling up to the one man who issued the order for world class service, CEO Jamie Dimon.
Chet Rosenfeld
DeleteI will do the peer review for Amanda Crawford
Chet Rosenfeld
ReplyDeleteThe Law: An Insider's Perspective
Every man has an innate sense of law. Every society, even the most barbaric, has rules and laws that the people in that society must follow or there will be consequences. Our law largely comes from the Common Law of England. But the supreme law of the United States is the U.S. Constitution. The Constitution sets up the rules of Federal law. The American government is divided into three branches; legislative, executive and judicial. The legislative branch is responsible for writing the law, the executive branch is responsible for enforcing the law and the judicial branch is responsible for administering and applying the law. The judicial branch also has the authority of judicial review, which means they can test the constitutionality of the laws. The legislative branch, which is Congress, drafts regulations, codes, treaties and acts. Judges use these acts as well as case law to determine the outcome of a particular cause of action.
The law can be split further into Civil and Criminal law as well as Transactional and Adversarial. A law student is required to take Torts, Property, Criminal, Contracts and Constitutional law, as well as, civil and criminal procedure. These are the foundational classes that enable a law student to delve further into specialty areas. Every aspect of our lives has some type of applicable laws. Every job and career path has laws and regulations that apply to it. There is something in each of us that cries for justice in even the most basic level.
Pulling into the parking lot of Lowndes, Drosdick, Doster, Kantor & Reed, P.A., is a little intimidating. There are expensive and foreign cars everywhere. I like to arrive early; it gives me time to quiet my thoughts. I don’t like feeling rushed. I am here for an industry related conference. I walk into the office and I am greeted by a very attractive receptionist. There are several topics on the agenda today, but for now, I am just going to quietly flirt with the receptionist. I have about ten minutes to wait, so I take that time to observe my surroundings. The air feels tense.
There is a clear contrast between the attorneys walking in the door and the other banking professionals. The attorneys look polished and classy. They walk in with purpose and intention. The banking professionals look sloppy and lazy in comparison. I look again at what I am wearing. I put on a tailored suit for this and I am pleased with my choice. It is time for the conference to begin.
The first topic is depositions counseling. A deposition is an out-of-court oral testimony that is reduced to writing. It is taken during the discovery phase of litigation. The key to a deposition is that it is a writing. It is dry. So there is no rush. The court reporter does not notate that you pause for 20 minutes. The words are simply typed. It is also important to answer verbally. Head movements and noises can’t be captured. The attorney conducting the presentation stresses that everything that is said is important. The information being gathered can be used at trial therefore answer the questions that are being asked and don’t provide additional information. “Make the deposing attorney do their job.” In other words, don’t volunteer information or provide detailed descriptions unless you are asked.
Chet Rosenfeld
ReplyDeleteThe second topic of conversation is suspicious activity reports and what can be discovered. Associate Attorney, Samantha Jenkins is leading this presentation. This is why I am here. I want to learn about the case law that has recently been ordered in regards to suspicious activity reports. Filing a suspicious activity report or SAR is something I must consider on a daily basis. I work for a financial institution and one of the laws we must comply with is the Bank Secrecy Act. We have a duty to report to the federal government any activity that we see that could be money laundering or terrorist financing. If we don’t comply with that law, we can be heavily fined and sanctioned.
The filing of a SAR is supposed to be a private and confidential matter. The policy behind that is for financial institutions to have faith in reporting without retaliation. Financial institutions are the frontline. We aid law enforcement in the discovery of criminal behavior. Employees of the financial institution are not aware if a SAR is filed or not, they are simply to look for suspicious activity. The decision to file a SAR rests in the hands of the appointed Compliance Officer of a financial institution. That person can’t indicate one way or the other is a SAR has been filed. They are simply to say – “I can’t answer that question” to anyone that asks.
In a recent case, a plaintiff tried to compel the defendant to produce a SAR. A judge ordered the SAR to be produced. It was overruled in the appeal, but this has opened the door for other judges to order similar findings. This could break down the entire process. That is why this particular topic is so relevant and important to the function of my day to day job. If the filing or lack thereof of a SAR can be discovered, then my employer can be held liable for neglecting to act or for acting depending on the set of facts.
During a break, I walk up to the attorney who conducted the presentation on SARs. I introduce myself and she tells me to call her “Samantha.” I ask her what she thinks about the judge’s ruling. She says that with all due respect, she thought the judge was wrong. There is a very compelling policy about the free exchange of information. She tells me that it is important for all parties to feel comfortable about sharing information. The purpose is to catch criminals and terrorist. If the confidentiality is taken away, then a chilling-effect will occur. The break is over and so I ask her if she would be free to talk later. She agrees.
Chet Rosenfeld
ReplyDeleteSamantha gets up at 5 a.m. every morning. She likes to go to the gym before she goes to work. It is a good way to fight off stress. The hours of an associate attorney are long. Sometimes she is there for 15 hours a day when she is working on a deadline or preparing for a trial. The office is never locked. People are there throughout the night. “A lot of attorneys have liquor somewhere in their office.” The hours are long so they make their own happy hour.
She goes on to describe the concept of billable hours. Every associate is expected to meet at least 1,860 billable hours a year. Not everything can be billed. Only the time spent working on a specific case can be billed to that client. “There is a learning curve, but clients can only be billed for actual time spent working on their case.” Samantha says that some of the associates misrepresent their billable hours due to the pressure to meet and exceed their goals. The tracking system is on their computers. You bring up the client and punch in to start recording the time spent on their case and then you punch out when you are no longer working for that client. The increments are broken up into minutes spent. Some of her colleagues leave the clock running on their computers so that they can meet their goals.
Samantha’s job is more corporate based, she doesn’t really represent individuals; she represents financial institutions. She is a regulatory compliance attorney. She makes a joke, “They will never make a television show about the type of law I practice.” She laughs to herself. There is nothing glamorous about digging around in the Congressional regulations. She likes to think of herself as a treasure hunter. She has to look through page after page of dense regulations in search of a nugget. It is the places of wiggle-room that she thrives.
“This is not the kind of law I saw myself practicing.” Samantha wanted to be an intellectual property attorney, specializing in music licensing. She went to law school in California. She took classes in copyright, patent and trademark. She was all set to pursue that path until she took a class in estate and tax planning. Then she realized that intellectual property is not what excited her. She loved the relational aspect of being an estate planner. Estate planning is a very sensitive section of the law because you are asking people to think about their own mortality. A person’s estate plan can’t be settled in one meeting. It requires the attorney to ask detailed and probing questions.
I will do a peer review for Chet Rosenfeld
DeleteAmanda Crawford
ReplyDeletePeer Review of Chet Rosenfeld
1. The law and government, and its different branches is the topic of this paragraph. The purpose of this information is to familiarize you with what he is about to speak about. He elaborates on each branch of the government fully and stays on track with what he is writing about.
2. He continues on about the law and system it works in, giving us a background to his paper before he gets into this. I like this beginning very much. It helps me understand it much better than I would without this beginning.
3. He writes about how the air is and what is going on around him and also what he is doing. It creates a sense of vision to see exactly what is going on at a given point in time.
4. Still creating a sense of vision as I read in this paragraph. I really do like how I can pretty much see what he is doing and what is going on in my head but I do wish there was a bit more description in what was happening.
5. He elaborates on deposition counseling and what deposition is. This is the first topic of the conversation.
6. The second topic was suspicious activity reports and how this goes on. By this point in my reading and rereading I really don’t feel like I’m reading an ethnography paper. I feel like I’m reading a book and I truly enjoy that feeling.
7. He elaborates on the SAR and what that is. I like how he elaborates on everything that he is mentioning so the reader isn’t confused on what is going on.
8. He continues to elaborate on the SAR and cases in this paragraph.
9. This paragraph reads in on his meeting with “Samantha”
10. This paragraph really speaks upon his meeting with Samantha and how she works as associate attorney. This paragraph really elaborates on her life and what it is like working the job she does. It’s a very effective paragraph.
11. This last paragraph really sums up the read and I find that I really enjoyed reading this piece.
Paragraph effectiveness
The 11th and 12th paragraphs were the strongest to me because they had the most information and detail. The other paragraphs lacked a little in detail but were all equal in there effectiveness.
I believe the main point of the whole paper was that a person’s estate plan cannot be settled in one meeting and that it needs an attorney to ask detailed and probing questions.
Two Questions
1. Could the paper be a little bit more descriptive in the writing?
2. I don’t really have a second question because it was good enough for just one.
Bryan Bajamunde
ReplyDelete:: Cody Brissette’s Peer Review ::
1 – (7) A bit of information describing how the Target Company all began with a man named George Draper Dayton, one of his companies opened up at the Waterford Town Center in 1999 and over the years the community around it has grown. He then introduces a community within the store called Assets Protection, which has been a major contribution to Target. His introduction to the community is very well described and well written.
2 – (8) this paragraph informs us of what Assets protection is about and what they do in the Target Community. I like how he gives a description of an Assets Protection worker and he does add a bit of information of what they do in Target, that it’s their job to keep things intact such has preventing thief’s, and keeping Target customers safe as they shop.
3 – (1) He enters the Assets Protection office and tells us what it’s like to be an Assets Protection officer and what they do on the job along a bit of a detail around the office. He is very much detailed when observing Nicole as she was monitoring the screens in the office giving every possible camera view throughout the Target store and what was happening on one of the screens that displayed a possible thief in the store where one of the officers appeared on the screen walking to the suspect. Also the way how Nicole and Kevin communicate through the walky-talky, adds more detail to how these Asset Protection officers communicate together.
4 – (3) Cody interviews with Nicole asking how she started out to become an Assets Protection Officer and why she chose it so Cody will know how to become a part of Assets Protection. Cody’s questions toward Nicole were excellent questions and he didn’t hesitate to ask her about her job. Cody asked more questions about how she communicates with the other officers using the terms they used from the first day Cody visited. So far his observations have been paying off as he continues to get results every hour.
5 – (2) Paragraph talks about their main priorities tied to Target and how their community is needed to keep Target as it is today by making sure that nothing wrong happens around the store such as shoplifting, otherwise shoppers will have a reason not to return to the store. This is why they set their standards to keep everything running correctly every day. I like how Cody is getting a lot of information really quick and is doing his research fairly well as he continues to visit the community; he is already getting familiar with their concepts and policies of Assets Protection Services.
6 – (4) It is talking about what happens from a thief being apprehended to a part where they might leave the store with police officers. Cody explains briefly of how to apprehend possible shoplifters in the store and what happens once the shoplifter has cooperated with an Assets Protection officer. When I read this paragraph I had no clue who Corey was, the sentence just started out with a name with no information about the person. I understand that it’s another officer that works for Assets Protection, but Cody still stands on point where he describes what happens once bringing in the suspect into the Assets Protection Services. Adding details to the room they bring the suspects in and how they handle the person with questions. Depending on the situation the Assets Protection services have connections with police and they can have an officer present during the investigation, if so the suspect is caught stealing the police is there to take the suspect away.
Cody Brissette Peer Review (Continued)
ReplyDelete7 – (5) This paragraph talks about connections with police officers and since the Assets Protection services share the same color of partnership with police and other programs they often come together as one to share their respects to people in the community such as events where they donate supplies to the community and form charity events to earn peoples respect and they hope to get to get the same respect for protecting the community around them. This paragraph is well thought out where they want to show the community that they care and that they will do whatever it takes to keep the community and the environment around them protected so that they will have that safe and secure felling, the same goal they want to achieve in other areas like the Target stores.
8 – (6) Paragraph informs that it is not a good plan to not steal at stores such as Target where you are not to mess with the Assets Protection services because they are watching you as you walk in the store, monitoring the whole store making sure that everything is intact and that there should be no shoplifters or any threat that would affect the Target stores. The Assets Protection Services have their rights to be called police officers because they do the same job compared to others around the world, protecting the community around you and others.
Two Questions:
1 - Is there any paper work that you saw in the office? What do they do other than monitor the cameras?
2 – What else did you do as you visited the Assets Protection Office? Did you only observe the camera room?
Paragraph 3 was the most effective because that paragraph immediately started off with a situation that they had to be fixed. It described a huge part of what the Assets Protection Services does in their office; they were monitoring the camera screens and immediately spotted a possible shoplifter. It began with communication through a walky-talky with terms they use to communicate. The paragraph alone gave a lot of information of what the Assets Protection Services does.
Paragraph 2 was the least effective because I felt like that could have been added into one of other paragraphs since some of them were related to paragraph 2, it was basically a small introduction of what they look like and what they do.
What stood out as the most memorable is the part where they tell us about their long term goal around the community. They will protect and serve in order to keep things intact to prevent any possible crimes in the community. Also the Asset Protection Services would sometimes make an event where they are able to share and give to the community such has donations and charities. It’s a way to show that the Assets Protection Services and the Law Enforcements are there for their safety.
What needs to be improved would be more observations, other than describing that one situation on your first day visiting. Also adding a time would be needed so readers can get some information such as a certain time where thieves are most likely to happen or what time it was when you did something while in your community.
Chet Rosenfeld
ReplyDeletePeer review of Amanda Crawford
1. The opening paragraph describes the building that houses the community to be discussed. The author does a very good job describing the scene. I can picture the buildings. I can see my own reflection. The narrative is well told. This paper will be about the Chase Card Services call center in Lake Mary.
2. Now the author is going inside the building. Again, this is mostly description. The first sentence in this paragraph is very long. Consider revising this into smaller sentences.
3. I like the imagery of an empty building and a lone janitor whistling at the end of the day. You could add more to describe this scene. This could also be a way the paper is closed because you start by walking in the building, greeted by a security guard and visiting the agents and then at the end of the day, the janitor is left to clean up and get ready for the next day. Just a thought.
4. This paragraph is providing historical context for JP Morgan Chase. Preeminent is one word and does not need to be hyphenated. I would also create a new paragraph after the sentence ending “…private domestic and foreign bank.” There is a shift from the beginnings of the organization itself and the credibility of that organization. I am going to complete my analysis assuming there is a new paragraph beginning “The first big splash….”
5. This paragraph talks about what made JP Morgan Chase a trusted name in banking. I would consider a different word instead of “moblilizer.” Also the next two sentences both begin with the word “From” – consider revising the second sentence. I think that there should be a different paragraph after “banks and financers.” because the thoughts change from the past to the present. Did you mean “bankers and financiers” instead of “banks and financers” because you are talking about the people and not the organization in this sentence?
6. This paragraph should begin with “Today, JP Morgan Chase…” This paragraph talks about the current feelings and reputation of the bank. It also mentions the current CEO. The last sentence is actually a question, but it ends in a period. It is a rhetorical question that the author will attempt to answer during the rest of the paper.
7. This paragraph brings the paper back to the current community that is going to be discussed. The Call Center in Lake Mary, more specifically the Credit Card Collections department of the organization. This paragraph provides information about the members in the community. It provides their demographics and again asks the question of how one achieves world class customer service.
8. This paragraph makes a nice shift and I like the opening sentence. Again you do a really nice job of describing the scene. I can imagine listening to the same story day in and day out. You are beginning to describe the language of the community. This paragraph talks about governing regulations of a collections call. There is probably an Act of Congress to describe this that you could mention and cite if you would like to bolster your paper. This paragraph also brings in a sense of disconnect between the actual collection agents and the performance improvement team – I’m guessing an altogether different discourse community. The sentence beginning “Each Agent has his or her…” is a new thought. You could begin a new paragraph here. This is describing the differences of each community member. They are all participating in the same community with the same guidelines, yet each one has a different style and motive.
Chet Rosenfeld - peer review continued:
ReplyDelete9. This paragraph talks about the different motives and approach of the community members. It then addresses the customer that has fallen into a collection situation. Depending on the approach of the agent, the customer may be met with sympathy or a cold wall. The author again asks the question about how world class customer service can take place in this environment. This is still setting up an argument, a continued rhetorical question to have the reader continually thinking about the goal of the organization and its leaders. This paragraph should end after this question is asked because a completely new thought begins with “Well upon further research…”
10. Beginning my analysis with the aforementioned paragraph break. Now you are talking about the recorded call concept. You should speak more to the constructive criticism the Team Managers provide. Do the agents listen and learn from the critique? What happens when an agent does not follow the guidelines? Are the Team Managers trained to provide the feedback? Do they take calls too? I am asking a lot of questions here because this could be further explored. This paragraph is starting to break down the roles of the individuals members in the community. At first you were talking about agents and now you are talking about their managers.
11. This paragraph describes the conversation with a Team Leader. You are letting us in on the motive of the overall organization. The original goal was to provide world class customer service to everyone, but now, we are getting the view that customers with a deeper relationship are treated a little better. The organization rewards loyalty. The Team Leader’s goal is to reduce the potential threat of a negative review. They are protecting the reputation of the organization and meeting that goal with providing a good customer service experience.
12. This paragraph asks the connecting question from a different perspective. Now the shift is not how can world class customer service be provided but if the customer can detect that it is. It ends in a question, but again a period is used. This rhetorical question appears to be troubling to the author.
13. This is a new member of the community. These agents play a different role. This is a proactive group calling to alert the customer before it becomes a collections situation. You do a nice job describing the role and experience of the agent and the customer. But there should be a paragraph between the last one and this one to set up the shift. There isn’t a smooth transition. This paragraph seems out of place because the next paragraph goes back to the Managers unless it is the managers making the courtesy calls and then it should be mentioned to tie all of the paragraphs together.
14. Now you are talking about the Managers again. This previous paragraph seems out of place. This paragraph describes the importance of complying with the regulations. Again, consider citing the statute. This would provide context for the paper and describe with greater detail the mandatory nature of the conversation. Why is the firm at risk? What are the potential penalties?
15. This paragraph describes a different community member – the Quality Control Team. This is more of an auditing situation. Random calls and agents are pulled to ensure compliance with both federal regulations and organizational policies.
16. This is the author’s opinions and overall impression of the day. Stereotype is one word. You tackle a lot in this paragraph and it does a nice job summarizing the entire experience.
17. This paragraph continues to describe the attitude of the author. You ultimately decided based on your day that Chase is an organization that you trust and would like to have all of your financial business so it appears that you thought overall that the agents are providing the world class customer service that the organization is hoping to achieve.
Chet Rosenfeld - Peer Review continued
ReplyDelete18. This is a conclusion paragraph. It shows the author’s desire to learn more about the organization. It brings it back to the CEO’s expectation.
Overall Impression:
I think that you have done a nice job describing a discourse community that gets a bad name in our society. I think that it is safe to say that no one likes a debt collector. I know that this is your first draft so there is room to provide more detail. Going back to the opening paragraph – you describe the buildings but you do so to make a contrast to the environment inside. How is it different? I didn’t see the thread brought back up again. You might consider writing a sentence that describes the warmth of the life inside the building in stark contrast to the cold, unfeeling buildings. Again, I would consider providing the regulation since it is often referred to. This is a highly regulated area and lack of compliance can lead to some serious penalties. Good Job.
Questions:
1. Do the people in this community like their job?
2. Do they understand their role in the overall organization?
3. Are they provided with the training and support they need to do their job effectively?
4. If you were to become a member of this community, which role would you like to have?
5. How is the world class customer service best achieved?
Andre Grace
ReplyDeletePeer Review
Michelle Balaban (Ethnography Paper)
Joseph Loghany Enc 1101
Paragraph 1
• Purpose – Is to describe what the paper is going to be about and to open up interest in the topic.
• There was an analogy to food with “Kitchen Hair” and” spaghetti ends”. Not sure how that fits in but maybe later it will.
• Listed the different parts in the field
• Advice- food comparison alittle confusing, also why do I want to know about this field? Needs a transition sentence to next paragraph the “Shop”
• Rating 4
Paragraph 2
• Purpose – To tell in more detail what the paper is about adding more specific references to the main topic.
• Very descriptive of the shop. Love it….Especially the reason for everyone wearing black.
• Advice- This could have been your opening paragraph with maybe a sentence or two to create interest.
• Rating 5
Paragraph 3
• Purpose- To introduce the main character/ informant. To describe some of the things happening in the shop.
• A lot of things going on. 1 about the informant 2 the clients in the shop.
• Advice- “ The drama begins…” should be the beginning of new paragraph. Also too soon to introduce the informant.
• Rating 3
Paragraph 4
• Purpose – To set up the interview with informant.
• What you like about being a stylist and Andrea.
• Advice- Separate the informant Andrea from your admiration for the business two separate ideas. Put all of Andreas information in one paragraph or link together without interrupting with another idea.
• Rating 3
Paragraph 5
• To give information on informant Andrea
• Very descriptive of Andrea
• Advice- Put this and the other sentences including Andrea together and it will be excellent…
• Rating 5
Paragraph 6
• Purpose- To show more information about Andrea using her on the job situation.
• Information about a specific situation in the shop with Andrea . The first sentence doesn’t start off the paragraph well.
• Advice- Use second sentence to start paragraph
• Rating 4
Paragraph 7
• Purpose – To set up tour or interview with informant
• Andrea is your daughter? Should mention that in beginning.
• Advice- mention your relationship to Andrea earlier when describing her. Also Who is Ricky and what is going to do with you.
• Rating 3
Paragraph 8
• Purpose- To describe Ricky?
• Too many directions in this paragraph. Description of Ricky which still not sure the significance of and more about your passion and connection to the industry.
• Advice- Put your connection and passion about the industry all together maybe at the beginning of paper. Explain the relevance of Ricky.
• Rating 3
Paragraph 9
• Purpose- To describe interview with Ricky another informant
• Good questions and answers from Ricky. Like the conversation. Excellent transition sentence at end.
• Advice- Put in the beginning there will be multiple informants not one.
• Rating 5
Paragraph 10
• Purpose- Describe another interview with other informant
• Great description of informant and reactions to questions.
• Advice- None great!!!
• Rating 5
Paragraph 12
• Purpose- More of the interview with informant
• Very good interview
• Advice- same paragraph as 10.
• Rating 5
Paragraph 13
• Purpose- More of the interview and close of it
• Very good and love the direct question about perception of being gay.
• Advice- None great and love the ending
• Rating5
Paragraph 14
• Purpose- To set up interview with next informant
• Very good description of how you met Felix
• Advice – None great
• Rating 5
Paragraph 15
• Purpose- Interview with new informant
• Good description of him and questions
• Advice- Also very good no need to change anything
• Rating 5
Paragraph 16
ReplyDelete• Purpose- More Interview with informant
• Good job describing his response and physical appearance
• Advice- More questions about the shop maybe. Kind of harping on the stereotype thing.
• Rating5
Paragraph 17
• Purpose- More description of the tour of the shop
• Touring the different parts of the shop
• Advice- Second sentence should begin paragraph.
• Rating4
Paragraph 18
• Purpose- To set up another interview with another informant
• Very visually descriptive of informant. You have a gift with visual description
• Advice- None, nice set up for the interview…
• Rating 5
Questions
1. What do you think the main thing you want the reader to know about is. The field of cosmetology, the specific shop, or Andrea’s role in it?
2. How should people leave this paper feeling about this field?
Paragraph 19
ReplyDelete• Purpose – The interview with informant
• Very good description of interview. I love the story answer by Codi.
• Advice- It almost seems as though the stereotype is the theme of the paper. Alittle repetitive. But very good
• Rating5
Paragraph 20
• Purpose- The interview with informant continued and ended
• Nice dialogue
• Advice- same paragraph as 19
• Rating5
Paragraph 21
• Purpose- To close out interiews and set up the history section
• Advice- put first sentence with a summary of all the interviews.
• Start paragraph 22 with “ When I researched..
• Rating 4
Paragraph 22
• Purpose- Tell of the history of the founder of shop
• Information on owners beginning in business.
• Advice- short paragraph join with 23
• Rating 3
Paragraph 23
Purpose- More history on founders
• Good information on Paul Mitchell
• Advice- More information on Angus or leave out. And better transition to 24 or include with 24
• Rating 4
Paragraph 24
• Purpose- More information on co founder
• Great information. Straight to the point
• Advice- Great just needs a closing sentence and a transition to your closing
• Rating 4
Paragraph 25
• More information on the founders
• Good information on the good they do outside the business
• Advice- better opening sentence.
• Rating4
Paragraph 26
• Purpose- define males role in the business
• Good sentence
• Advice- not a paragraph. Maybe just a sentence that could be added to another. Also two different thoughts the gay thing is not really relevant at this point of paper. Would include with interviews somewhere on why you ask that question to many of the informants.
• Rating 3
Paragraph 27
• Purpose- Explain mans role in this field
• Good comments
• Advice- out of place comes out of nowhere. Not relevant here. Maybe put in the beginning somewhere before the interviews.
• Rating 3
Paragraph 28
• Purpose- Summary of Paper
• Confused this is not the topice you started with. Not that it isn’t a good one but different from your opening point.
• Advice- Put 28 and 29 in the beginning of paper. Maybe even the first or second paragraph.
• Rating 3
Paragraph29
• Purpose- Summary
• Good summary for specific topic but not the right topic.
• Advice- You definitely need to change to 27 and 28 being your opening paragraph. Or put the specific shop and Andrea in your closing
• Rating 3
I enjoyed this paper. You strength is definitely you ability to describe the appearance and reactions of people. I love your interviews and how you describe moving through the shop room and person by person. I would just change your opening to include the role of men in the industry and say how observing this shop supports your closing statement. Not sure if the paper is on shop like your opening paragraphs lead you to believe, the field of cosmetics, the people in the field, or men’ role in the field. Need to be more clear in the beginning about that. Other then that really good. Hope this is helpful
Questions
1. What do you think the main thing you want the reader to know about is. The field of cosmetology, the specific shop, or Andrea’s role in it, or the stereotype of men in this field?
2. How should people leave this paper feeling about this field the shop or the men in this field?
Cody Brissette
ReplyDelete:: Bryan Bajamunde’s Peer Review ::
1 (10) Talks about where the community is located and that he wants to find a job in the community. Talks about how he wants to join the community and that his family is in the community.
2(6) Explains the morning routines and what goes on. Then goes on about how the office looks. During the description of the office he talks about the secretary in the community briefly.
3 (2) Introduces Linda the PTA he is observing for the paper. Then sees what that person does in the community. Linda calls a client to come in then prepares for the client. After becoming unable to witness Linda do anything else he explores more of the community area. There is many areas with work out equipment and different rooms.
4 (5) The paragraph explains Matt coming to the appointment and meeting with his aunt for the session. He then talks about how his aunt had to learn the muscles and that he should practice on learning them because she was tested in college for it. Then they go over how Matt will be required to come back and needs more sessions before he will be healthy again. Getting clients healthy seems to be the main point of the community. He then goes over to the PTA to see what happens after a session.
5 (1) This is about how he goes on a trip with his Aunt and Uncle. The trip leads him away from the community site but shows how much the community that surrounds them is affected by the community. How they get to know people by throwing parties.
6 (9) The explains the ending of a day and how a patient does a different session than other people.
7 (4) The paragraph shows how the community goes out of its way to help people by traveling to their personal house. The uncle has to bring special equipment to the house to help the special patient.
8 (8) Explains that the community takes a day off during the week. Explains more on what goes on getting the place ready before work days. Time management is a huge thing in this community.
9 (7) This explains another trip to a patient’s house to help them with a health issue. Then he learns a new term called medially. When the appointment is over they make another and leave.
10(3) Explains how he becomes more of a member of the community while he is learning about it. He then gets lessons from his Aunt on the type of massages she does. Then he begins to watch his uncle before the end of the day.
Questions
1 – Do they tell you how the patient ends up needing therapy?
2 – How do the patients find out about the community?
Most effective paragraph
Paragraph five for me was the most effective paragraph at showing how the community can affect people. How people appreciate your Aunt and Uncle so much that they respect them out of the community. This paragraph shows the goal of the community and that is to help people who cannot help themselves.
The weakest paragraph
Paragraph 1 felt as though there was not very much to it. It did describe the titles of the Aunt and Uncle which was good but I feel like this paragraph could have been added into another paragraph. Also I feel as though you could have mentioned your family member’s names at the beginning seeing how you used the patients throughout the paper.
Main Point
I feel like the main point was to describe what goes on in the community. I feel like you could have some information on how your family got into the community and why they enjoy it. Also you could put in there more about Linda I feel like you watch her for a very short time then she never comes back into the story. There is a lot of information on what happens hour by hour while working maybe you could add in what goes on with the patients after they are done with the session.